Self Respect Comic Strips - Page 6

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203 Results for Self Respect

View 51 - 60 results for self respect comic strips. Discover the best "Self Respect" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #generic self help, #consultant, #keep a journal, #lead by example, #business

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Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #no respect, #work, #send resume, #located

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Dilbert says to Dogbert before leaving for work, "I'm tired of getting no respect at work." Dilbert continues, "I'm going to send my resume to a company that's locted in a place I'd never want to live." Dogbert says to Dilbert while reading the paper, "I wonder why they don't respect you." Dilbert answers angrily, "That's what I want to know!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #self service consulting, #strategy, #massive bills, #hoping to print

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Dogbert says to the Boss while standing atop his desk, "I now offer self-service consulting." Dogbert continues, "Write down your strategy and I'll send you massive bills." The Boss asks, "Do you have a card?" Dogbert replies, "I was hoping you'd print some for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #self service consulting, #crate of anvils, #centralized, #decentralized, #strategy

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Dogbert says to the staff during a session of self-service consulting, "I was hired because you're all dumber than a crate of anvils." Dogbert continues, "Now, can anyone tell me if your operations are centralized or decentralized?" Asok waves his hand excitedly, "Ooh! Ooh! I just thought of a strategy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #work for losers, #commits deadline, #winners, #respect me less

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Work is for losers." Dogbert continues, "A winner says, 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Wouldn't people respect me less?" Dogbert replies, "I don't see how."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #email, #email monkey, #feeling of self worth, #quit whenever

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Sitting at his computer, Asok thinks to himself "Send. Ooh!" Asok thinks to himself, "I get a tiny feeling of self-worth when I send e-mail to my boss." Dilbert says to Wally, loud enough for Asok to hear, "Looks like someone has an e-mail monkey on his back." Asok replies, "I can quit whenever I want!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #motivation fairy, #work hard, #gain respect, #peers, #avoid stress, #out live peers, #hard work

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THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: Hovering in the air near Wally, the Fairy says, "If you work hard, you will gain the respect of your peers." Wally says to the hovering Motivation Fairy, "If I avoid the stress of hard work, I will out-live my peers." The Fairy asks, "Hard work can kill me?" Wally answers, "If you're lucky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #never thought, #organic pain, #racing toward oblivion, #self delusion, #key to happiness

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dating attractive men, #dumb self centered, #intelligent homely guy, #gym, #free weights, #girl talk, #Dilbert, #Women

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Two women are at the gym. The dark haired says to the light haired, "I'm tired of dating attractive men who are dumb and self-centered." The dark haired continues, "Maybe I can find an intelligent homely guy and clean him up." The light haired exclaims, "No!!!" Dilbert approaches the women and asks, "Do you mind if I work in a set with those five-pounders?" The dark haired looks at Dilbert from the corner of her eye and smiles. The light haired screams, "Don't do it, Amber!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #crossgrain on accounting, #system, #lose respect, #job security, #whole job, #accounts erceivable, #not expense, #no complaints

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The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."