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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I stepped down as CEO and took my old job back - it's less stressful." Dogbert replies, "Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Dogbert says, "Too bad we can't afford any roses now."
A robot enters wearing overalls and says to Dilbert, "I made some pants out of the clothes in your dresser." Dilbert shakes his finger and says, "Bad robot!! I want you to tell me why what you did was wrong." The robot pulls his underwear out of his pants and says, "It's not wrong. I remembered to make underpants out of the drapes."
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dilbert asks, "How was your day, Dogbert?" Dogbert sniffs the air and asks, "Hey! What's that smell?" Dogbert smells Dilbert's hand and says, "Just as I suspected - you stopped to pet the neighbor's cat!" Dilbert says, "It meant nothing. It was more of a pat than a pet." Dilbert dials the phone and says, "Save your lies for the trial."
Dogbert walks outdoors thinking, "It's easy to make insecure people insult themselves." Dogbert says to a woman, "Good morning, ma'am. You look thin and sexy today!" The woman replies, "Sexy?! Ha! I'm a whale . . . A whale with a bad hairdo!" Dogbert walks away humming and thinking, "Next."
Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says, "Marriage Counselor." A man and a woman sit across from him. Dogbert continues, "I recommend massive plastic surgery for both of you . . . And your personalities are bad, too; pretend to be other people." The man or the woman asks, "Should we try to communicate more?" Dogbert replies, "No, that's just begging for trouble."
The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Uh-oh . . . I smell a creative idea being formed somewhere in the building." The Boss sniffs the air. The Boss sits in a window in the top floor of an office building. He thinks, "I must find it and crush it." Dilbert and a man stand in front of a suggestion box while the Boss hides around the corner. Dilbert says, "Hey, this is new." The man says, "It's a trap!!"
Beaver: When you're a lazy beaver, you try to find shortcuts and tricks to get your work done. I got this daytime planner to organize my day efficiently. But all it does is sit there. Dogbert: Looks like you got a bad one.
Dilbert reaches into a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'm going to pull Ratbert out of the hole in space before anything bad happens." Ratbert tells Dilbert and Dogbert, ". . . Although only a minute passed in this dimension, I've been floating in the other dimension for three hundred thousand years." Dilbert says, "Wow! It's lucky I didn't reach in there with my watch hand!" Ratbert yells, "Yes I was bored!!! Thanks for asking!!"
Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program. Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot. Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this. Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.
The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.