Steal Idea Comic Strips - Page 6
378 Results for Steal Idea
View 51 - 60 results for steal idea comic strips. Discover the best "Steal Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.
Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Alice sits in Catbert's office. Catbert says, "Alice, did you kill another co-worker?" Alice says, "Yes." Catbert looks in the Employee Manual and says, "But you did not discriminate, sexually harass, steal or take drugs. hmmmm.." Catbert says, "It looks like I have to give you an award for your cost saving idea." Alice says, "Thank you."
The Boss says, off-frame, to Dilbert, "I like your internet business idea. Let's do it." Dilbert, off-frame says to The Boss, "I sent you that idea a year ago. Since then, five companies have gone IPO in that space." The Boss says, "Can we buy one of them?" Dilbert says, "If by 'one' you mean one share of stock, yes."
Wally explains at a meeting: "My idea is to change our department name from engineering to..." He continues: "e-engineering." Wally says: "I'm working on a similar idea for marketing but it's not done yet."
The Boss holds up a piece of paper and says, "From now on, the organization chart will not be distributed." The Boss crumples up a piece of paper and says, "And the internal phone lists will be shredded." The Boss continues, "This will prevent headhunters from easily picking us clean." Wally asks, "Why would headhunters call US?" The Boss explains, "They want to steal you away and double your pay at another company." Wally says, "What makes you think we won't leave on our own anyway?" The Boss replies, "Because working here drains all your initiative." Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and says, "Let's prove him wrong." Dilbert says, "Yeah! I'm NOT shredding my phone list!"
THE "EXACTLY" MAN: Randy, looking at a piece of paper, says to Dilbert, "Your idea won't work. No one would buy this kind of product." Dilbert says, "We already sell ten million of these per year. My idea just makes them better." Randy exclaims, "Exactly!!" and Dilbert thinks, "?"
A woman, walking with Dilbert, says, "I like take-charge men who just say, 'C'mon, we're going someplace." Dilbert says to the woman, "C'mon, we're going to the bowling alley!" The woman says, "That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard." Dilbert says, "I think I see how this works."
Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk. He says, "I can analyze your employees' handwriting to find out who might steal." The Boss replies, "Has handwriting analysis been tested in double-blind scientific studies?" Dogbert responds, "Yes, but the scientists dotted their I's with smiley faces so I know they're liars." The Boss exclaims, "Wow!"
Dilbert is assembling something. Dogbert says to him, "I'm going to start an airline that has no planes." Dogbert continues, "I'll take people's money and make them sit in a crowded room while ex-cons steal from their luggage." Dilbert turns and replies, "What happens when your customers realize you have no airplanes?" Dogbert responds, "I call that 'mechanical difficulties.'"
The Boss addresses a meeting, "We've hired the world's most innovative design firm." The Boss continues, "We'll observe their successful methods and steal them for our own. Heh Heh Heh." Dilbert turns to The Boss and says, "Maybe their secret is hiring smart people." The Boss responds, "I'm hoping it involves easels."
The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, I want you to help me put together a morale boosting event." Carol responds, "Great idea. And after that maybe I can do CPR on a mummy and see if I can save its life." The Boss responds, "Our first meeting will be Tuesday." Carol exclaims, "Do you hear what I'm saying?"