Stealing Comic Strips - Page 6
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58 Results for Stealing
View 51 - 58 results for stealing comic strips. Discover the best "Stealing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 01,
2018
Laying Down Suppressive Fire
Tags #rumor, #aspersions, #accusing, #accusation
Transcript
Wally: If Ted complains about me not doing my job, keep in mind that he steals from the company. And he only has time for stealing because sometimes he takes time off from all of his lying. Dilbert: What was that all about? Wally: I was laying down suppressive fire.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday May 23,
2018
Idea Stealing
Monday December 17,
2018
The Candy Honor System
Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust
Transcript
Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.
Sunday October 27,
2019
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate
Transcript
Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?
Tuesday January 05,
2021
Dna Says Wally Will Steal
Tags #business, #psychology, #dna, #steal, #office supplies, #junk, #science, #experts, #listen
Transcript
Catbert: wally, according to your dna, the odds of you stealing office supplies later this week are nearly 100%. wally: that sounds like junk science. catbert to boss: he refuses to listen to experts.
Monday April 26,
2021
Workplace Injuries
Tags #business, #technology, #meeting, #video call, #workplace, #injury, #reduce, #work from home, #security, #guard, #hurt, #back, #steal, #office equipment
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.
Sunday June 06,
2021
Anonymous Sources
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources
Transcript
boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.
Monday May 31,
2021
Management Potential
Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #stealing, #credit, #potential, #chart
Transcript
boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.