Stop Dating Comic Strips - Page 6

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533 Results for Stop Dating

View 51 - 60 results for stop dating comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Dating" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #rat hole, #share money, #stop digging, #smell feet

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I need you to dig a huge rat hole, so companies can throw money in it." Ratbert dances and says, "Yes!!!" Dogbert says, "I might share some of the money with you." Ratbert says, "You had me at 'hole.'" Ratbert and Dogbert are outside. Ratbert is digging a huge hole and says, "When should I stop digging?" Dogbert replies, "When you smell feet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #latest assignment, #impossible, #slow speed of light, #perfect art, #human cloing, #eliminate garvity, #stop the sun, #reanimate dead, #impossible tasks, #change the world, #nature

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #blah blah, #make holidays tense, #stockholder, #stop merger, #suing us, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert is at his computer. The Boss approaches, hands Dilbert a photograph, and says, "This stockholder is suing us to stop the merger. Go rough her up." Dilbert looks at the photograph and responds, "This assignment disturbs me on many levels." The Boss says, "Name one." Dilbert looks down at the photograph of his mom and says, "It will make the holidays tense." The Boss replies, "Blah, blah, blah."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product brochures, #design awards, #great, #award winning designer, #can't stop complaining

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In a meeting, a co-worker hands Dilbert a brochure and exclaims, "The new product brochures have already won design awards!" Dilbert responds, "That's great, but our product won't do any of the things you claim here." The co-worker crosses his arm and says, "Well, who should we believe - the award-winning designer or the guy who can't stop complaining?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recognize noredom, #stop talking about yourself, #yawn

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Dogberts school for the social oblivious. Dogbert: Today I"ll teach you to recognize when your boring. Dogbert: This is called a yawn, when you see one , stop talking about yourself. BREAKOUT SESSION Ted: And then I chopped it right onto the green. Dogbert: Look,Look!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #combined, #dating service, #online job site, #system

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"I combined an online dating service with an online job site and an online auction site." "You tell the system everything about yourself and see if anyone wants any of it." ""I wouldn't date you or hire you, but I'll bid a dollar for your refrigerator.""

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gay boss, #nelson, #male, #no bomus, #train to be boss, #support family, #gay, #dating rugby team

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The Boss: Tina, this is your new supervisor, Nelson. You'll be training him to be your boss. The Boss: There won't be any bonuses this year because i gave it all to nelson. he's a man, sio he needs to support a family. Nelson: Im gay The Boss: Um....civil union and adoption, right? Nelson: Im dating a rugby team.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating pretty boys, #look best, #act best, #more bread!, #knows he can't do better

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"I'm tired of dating pretty boys where I need to look and act my best all the time." "I want a guy who knows he can't do better than me, no matter what I look like." "MORE BREAD!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts, #selfish cell phone, #no number, #can bother people, #stop bothering me

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"I'm starting Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company." "It has no phone number. You can call people and bother them when they're busy, but they can't do the same to you." "Hi Mom. Oh, nothing. I'm just walking someplace." "STOP BOTHERING ME!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dark, #decompose, #defecation, #driving, #green consultant, #hate earth, #procreating, #stop eating

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Dogbert the Green Consultant Dogbert: "Stop eating, breathing, driving, defecating, and procreating." "Sit in the dark and decompose on some garden seeds." "Or do you admit you hate Earth?" The Boss:"A little."