Search Results for "support"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corner cubicle, #window control, #mad woman, #giant magnifiying glass, #life support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "Alice moved into the corner cubicle and claimed control over the window shades!" Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Dilbert says, "Our life support systems will be in the hands of a madwoman!" Wally is sweating and panicked. He says, "Maybe she'll be kind." Alice is holding on to a giant magnifying glass that she's attached to her cubicle wall."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #stay home husband, #support career, #chocolate, #hot and cold, #bobby, #didn't hear

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to the man in the apron, "Bobby, I'm looking for a stay-at-home husband to support my career." Bobby responds, "I'm sorry - I was thinking about chocloate, and I didn't hear a word you just said." Bobby walks away and says, "Br-r-r-r, I'm cold. Now I'm hot. Now I'm cold!" Alice thinks, "This will take some work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #trolls, #hell, #payroll system, #automated sadistic, #phone system, #tech support, #complicated

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #gerbil, #marketing team, #cables, #engineering support

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I moved the meeting to Tuesday. Dilbert: "I can't make it on Tuesday." " Ted: Somehow I think the marketing team can survive one meeting without engineering support." Marketing team: "We'll include a pet gerbil in every box. We'll just need to make sure it's in a sealed plastic bag so it won't chew on the cables."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #another company, #determine cause

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is Dogbert's tech support. Your problem is caused by another company's product or services." "Shouldnt I tell you my problem before you determine the cause?" "Okay, let's pretend that will change my answer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #gay boss, #nelson, #male, #no bomus, #train to be boss, #support family, #gay, #dating rugby team

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina, this is your new supervisor, Nelson. You'll be training him to be your boss. The Boss: There won't be any bonuses this year because i gave it all to nelson. he's a man, sio he needs to support a family. Nelson: Im gay The Boss: Um....civil union and adoption, right? Nelson: Im dating a rugby team.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #cable compnay, #new glasses, #couch, #couch tech support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert works for the cable company "If your picture is fuzzy then get new glasses." "If my glasses are theproblem, why does the couch look perfectly clear?" "Good question. Please hold while I transfer your to couch tech support."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #online customer survey, #how happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support: Please fill out the online customer satisfaction survey." "Um... But you haven't even tried to help me yet." "I like to base my help on how happy you expect to be."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #bad computer, #designed to be slower, #unrelaible, #defragment, #disk drive

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert's Tech Support " You have a bad case of computer rot." "Your computer is designed to become slower and more unreliable over time so you have to upgrade." "But if you'd like some false hope, I can tell you to defragment your disk drive."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #try rebooting, #tech support, #clone yourself, #adoption, #notice bugs, #slapped 1.0 together, #parents

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support "Try rebooting yourself." "Clone yourself, put the clone up for adoption, and hope intelligence can be influenced by the environment." "Evidently your parents slapped together Version 1.0 of you and hoped no one would notice the bugs..."