Terrible Comic Strips - Page 6

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61 Results for Terrible

View 51 - 60 results for terrible comic strips. Discover the best "Terrible" comics from Dilbert.com.

Add Feature To Legacy System

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Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate

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Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

Ambitious Men

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Ambitious Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #dating, #rude, #honesty, #ambition, #insult, #relationships

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Woman: I like ambitious men. Are you ambitious? Dilbert: Not especially. For example, I settled for dating you. Woman: That's a terrible thing to say. Dilbert: You're the one who brought it up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #help, #group project, #dependability, #failure, #psychic, #prediction

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Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #morals, #blame

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Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sociopath, #obliviousness, #tell-all

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Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.

Wally Maintains The Network

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Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

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Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

Idea Stealing

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Idea Stealing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #idea, #manager, #credit

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Boss: What does everyone think of my idea? Dilbert: I suggested that same idea last week and you said it was terrible. Boss: Your idea was totally different because it involved you getting the credit.

Lying To Weasels

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Lying To Weasels - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sayings, #Advice, #honesty, #truthfulness

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Dilbert: I keep speaking truth to power, but it isn't working for me. Wally: Try lying to weasels. It doesn't look as good on a bumper sticker but it gets the job done. Dilbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Wally: Then why are you doing it right now?

Everyone Says You Disagree With Everything

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Everyone Says You Disagree With Everything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #accusation, #catch-22, #rebuttal, #defensive

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Boss: Everyone says you aren't being a team player because you keep disagreeing with everything. Dilbert: Everyone does not say that, and I don't disagree with everything. Boss: There you go again. You'd be a terrible lawyer. Dilbert: Thank you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

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Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.