Tone Down Comic Strips - Page 6
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545 Results for Tone Down
View 51 - 60 results for tone down comic strips. Discover the best "Tone Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 02,
2001
Tags #mouse cramp, #elbonian prison wall, #chained upside down, #winning converstaion, #topper, #annoying, #one better
Transcript
Dilbert, Topper and Wally are sitting at a table. Dilbert, wiggling his fingers, says, "I'm getting a mouse cramp." Topper says to Dilbert and Wally, "I spent seven years chained upside down to an Elbonian prison wall." Topper says to Dilbert and Wally, "At the risk of sounding too competitive, I believe I'm winning this conversation."
Tuesday September 04,
2001
Tags #profits down, #profits went up, #putting in context, #senior mangement, #weak economy, #meeting, #business
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down. Our senior management blames the weak economy." Dilbert responds, "So they're saying that profits went UP because of great management and DOWN because of a weak economy?" The Boss responds, annoyed, "These meetings will go faster if you stop putting things in context." Dilbert replies quietly, "Sorry."
Thursday September 20,
2001
Tags #music in offcie, #can't concentrate, #turn it down, #drive you nuts, #complain, #cubicles, #separation, #desks
Transcript
Dilbert leans over the cubicle wall and says, "Could you turn off the music? I can't concentrate" to the coworker next to him. The coworker replies, "How about if I turn it down to a level where it still drives you nuts but you're too shy to complain a second time?" Dilbert says, "Thank you." The coworker says, "It might creep up over time."
Friday October 05,
2001
Tags #selfish, #dimwitted, #six sigma consulatant, #bog down meetings, #process, #can't hurt anything
Transcript
Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert is standing in front of a room. He says, "All of you are selfish and dimwitted but don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach you a process that will bog you down in meetings so you can't hurt anything." Asok panics and exclaims, "I can't move my arms!" The rest of the class is asleep.
Saturday March 16,
2002
Tags #numbers down, #reorganize dept, #history for compariosn, #fire people, #save money
Transcript
A female employee asks The Boss, "Our numbers are way down. What should we do?" The Boss replies, "Reorganize the department so there's no valid history for comparison." The Boss continues, "Then we'll fire a few people and give ourselves awards for saving money." The employee scrunches up her paper and mutters, "El Diablo."
Saturday November 09,
2002
Tags #burned down, #customer headquaters, #employee screws up, #performance reviews, #demo unit
Transcript
Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"
Friday December 06,
2002
Tags #teds job, #two jobs forever, #verbal praise, #down the road, #future, #manipulation, #until hire
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I need you to do Ted's job and your own job until we hire someone." Dilbert responds, "If I do well, you'll make me do two jobs forever. If I do poorly, I'll get no raise." The Boss replies, "I can't promise anything, but there might be some verbal praise down the road."
Tuesday April 22,
2003
Tags #down to 40 cups, #won't survive, #lucky, #coffe rehab
Transcript
Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, I'm sending you to a coffee rehab program." Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" Catbert says, "They'll get you down to forty cups a day." Wally exclaims, "Not double digits!!!" Wally is escorted out. He yells, "You monster!!! I won't survive!!!" Catbert says, "If you're lucky."
Friday June 27,
2003
Tags #record loss, #press release, #ceo stepped down, #100 million, #tenure, #shareholders, #bought stock
Transcript
Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"
Saturday October 11,
2003
Tags #top down budget, #bottom up budget, #ignorance, #cruelty, #lying, #optimism, #cancel, #wasted hour
Transcript
Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"