Training Expenses Comic Strips - Page 6
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196 Results for Training Expenses
View 51 - 60 results for training expenses comic strips. Discover the best "Training Expenses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 18,
2000
Tags #self paced, #online training, #sharpen my saw, #subject, #don't know subject, #confusing
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit together at a table. Wally says to the Boss, "I've been taking a self-paced online training course to sharpen my saw". The Boss replies, "What's the subject?" Wally answers, "I don't know." Frustrated with Wally's response, the Boss throws both arms in the air and yells, "How could you not know?" Wally answers, "What part of self-paced is confusing you?"
Friday August 04,
2000
Tags #purse stolen, #navy seal training, #booby trap cubcile, #early mail delivery, #hurt mailman, #catch a thief
Transcript
Alice says to the Boss, "Someone stole my purse." Alice continues, "So I used my navy seal training to booby-trap my cubicle." From Alice's cubicle someone screeches. "Aaiee!!!" Alice replies, "The mail is early today."
Tuesday September 05,
2000
Tags #judging people, #meet new guy, #training him, #giant amoeba
Transcript
The boss: dilbert , meet the new guy. Dilbert: You hired a giant amoeba? The Boss: You can't go around judging people by their looks. The Boss: Would you mind... Dilbert: Training him? Boss: Keeping him moist?
Tuesday November 28,
2000
Tags #beef eating, #just stress, #mandatory cpr, #middle aged men, #training for emplyees, #pear shaped
Transcript
Catbert says to Dilbert and Asok the Intern, "The company will be holding mandatory CPR training for all employees." Asok says, "GAA!!" The Boss looks on as Asok says to Catbert, "I am surrounded by pear-shaped, beef-eating, middle-aged men who I prefer not to touch." Catbert and The Boss look on as Asok rubs his chest and says, "Uh-oh... I hope that's just stress."
Monday February 26,
2001
Tags #training facility, #training, #secret location, #blinfolded, #drivers
Transcript
The Boss ties a blindfold over Alice's eyes and says, "No one knows the secret location of the Management Training Facility." The Boss leads the blindfolded Alice as Alice says, "If no one knows where it is, how do we get there?" Alice is sitting blindfolded in a car. The Boss is sitting in the driver's seat, also blindfolded. The Boss says, "This part can get loud."
Tuesday February 27,
2001
Tags #huge, #management training, #stupid mistake, #class, #school, #learn from it, #education
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says to Alice and the rest of the Management Training class, "What would you do if you made a huge, incredibly stupid mistake?" A man sitting next to Alice in the class raises his hand and says, "I would try to learn from it." Dogbert asks, "Did you learn anything from your answer?"
Wednesday February 28,
2001
Tags #always right, #arrogance, #management training, #punished, #two rules, #customer
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says, "There are two essential rules of management." The Management Training class, with Alice sitting in the front row, listens as Dogbert continues, "One: The customer is always right." Dogbert continues, "Two: They must be punished for their arrogance!"
Thursday March 01,
2001
Tags #unlock skull, #management training, #twist ears, #moral compass, #deactivate, #leadership, #working weekends, #adjustng, #Dogbert
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"
Friday March 02,
2001
Tags #class, #cloak of invisibility, #consultant, #invisibility, #management cloak, #management training, #special, #students, #teacher, #education, #business
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert addresses the class, saying, "Tim will demonstrate the Management Cloak of Invisibility." Dogbert points to Tim who is sitting at a desk in front of the Management Training class. Dogbert watches as Tim sinks below the desk. Dogbert says to the class as Tim disappears from view, "I admit it doesn't seem very special when you know how it's done."
Friday May 04,
2001
Tags #software expenses, #marketing software expenses, #monkeys, #wear watches, #boss asks, #budget, #costs, #expenses
Transcript
The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"