Turn Negative Comic Strips - Page 6

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228 Results for Turn Negative

View 51 - 60 results for turn negative comic strips. Discover the best "Turn Negative" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #discussion, #hijack conversations of subordinates, #imperious interuptus, #load and testing

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Dilbert: ... then we can do the load testing and... Boss: I'm invoking the right of imperious interruptus. In layman's terms, it is the right of all bosses to hijack the conversations of subordinates. I will now turn my back to you and speak with Alice as if you don't exist. Do not leave. Do not chime in, just awkwardly stand there. CEO: Imperious interruptus! Behold my power to make two underlings stand awkwardly while I hijack this conversation! Have you heard my speech about how we're not level conscious at this company?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #therapist, #therapy, #couch, #complaining, #turn tables, #shrink, #session, #husband, #pad.pen, #fishing for compliments, #relationships, #psychology

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Dilbert: People always try to take advantage of me. Therapist: I know what you mean. I lost five pounds and my husband didn't notice! I came home last night and he hadn't even cleaned the garage like he promised. I had to park on the street! Dilbert: Is it my imagination, or have you found a clever way to make people pay to listen to you complain? Therapist: Tell me more about how you think Im clever.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #mental health, #crazy thought, #witness, #conference room, #fresh heck, #sadist, #sociopath

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Dilbert: Wait. Hold that crazy thought. I need to get a witness in the room. Alice, would you mind coming to the conference room for a minute? Alice: What fresh heck is this? Dilbert: Larry is a sadist and a sociopath, but he hides it when there's more than one witness. So, Larry, what do you think of my project? Coworker: It looks great! I'll be happy to help you in any way I can! Alice: Am I done here? Dilbert: Don't turn your back!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #run, #workout tape, #scare

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Dilbert arrives at home and asks, "Okay, where are these so-called upholsterygeist?" Dogbert replies, "In the living room." Dilbert says, "You turn on the VCR, I'll get the Jane Fonda workout tape!" The chair runs away screaming, "Aaagh! The Exercist!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculate, #bingo, #barry manilow, #carnegie hall, #nbc, #event, #invention, #burp

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My new invention can calculate the odds of any event." Dogbert asks, "What are the odds that I care?" Dilbert looks at the device he is holding and says, "Hmm . . . It says 'Same as the odds of being asked to burp the greatest hits of Barry Manilow at Carnegie Hall . . .'" Dilbert continues reading the display, "'. . . And having NBC buy the story rights and turn it into a docudrama.'" Dogbert says, "Bingo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #blanket, #book, #writing, #read, #tv guide, #pudding

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Dogbert sits on a pillow and thinks, "Maybe I should write a book." Dogbert thinks, "Nah . . . Maybe I should just read a book." Dogbert thinks as he walks through the house, "Maybe I'll just read the tv guide . . . Maybe I'll just watch whatever's on and turn into pudding . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #accident, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #sixty minutes, #people, #Dogs

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "What does a dog school have in common with the tv show 'Sixty Minutes?'" Dilbert turns around and answers, "They both have 'Hairy Reasoners.'" Dogbert says, "Uh . . . right." Dogbert walks away thinking, "And people wonder why dogs sometimes turn on their owners . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #toll booth, #radio, #car, #toll taker, #social

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Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Toll booth ahead. Turn down the radio . . . Get exact change ready . . ." Dilbert stops at the tooth booth and says to the toll collector, "Good morning!" Dilbert drives away thinking, "I wonder if it's normal to want the toll-taker to like me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #adjourn, #scientific, #debunk, #edna, #chickens, #skeptics, #society, #Politics, #meeting

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A man stands at a podium and a witch sits next to him on the stage. Dilbert sits in the audience. The man says, "Welcome to another meeting of the 'Skeptics Society.'" The man continues, "Tonight we will use scientific methods to debunk Edna Griffin's claim that she can turn an audience into a flock of chickens. We'll need some volunteers . . ." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Motion to adjourn . . ." The man next to Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Whoa, look at the time!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1990's comic on:


Tags #boring, #brains, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #neighbors, #outiside, #talking, #tapioca, #vernon, #walking, #walks

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Vernon: Yo! Dilbert and Dogbert! Dilbert: Oh, no.... Dogbert: Yo. Vernon: Did I ever tell you about my favorite episode of, "Kojak?" Dogbert: Whoa! Vern, we gotta go before you turn our brains into tapioca! Dilbert: There's always the direct method.