Use As Tiny Bed Comic Strips - Page 6
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Share April 06, 1999's comic on:
The boss says to Asok, "Asok, I've chosen you to put our budget forecast together." The boss says, "It's a hard job but you'll get the satisfaction of making everyone hate your tiny guts." Asok walks away and thinks, "My guts are not tiny."
Share April 10, 1999's comic on:
The boss, wally and Asok sit at the conference table with papers in front of them. The boss says, "I downsised the "ease of use" lab because there's no budget for a staff." Asok grabs one of the paper and shows it the the boss. ASok says, "They HAVE a buget. I put it on the back of these two-sided photocopies!" The boss says, "Well, they lived by the sword, and they died by the sword."
Share May 06, 1999's comic on:
Dilmom is at a computer store. The salesman says, "This is our most reliable computer, unless you try to use software." The salesman says, "It'll freeze several times a day. But you can restart it by poking a spoon into a hole in the back." Dilbert's mom says, "Has that ever worked?" The salesman says, "We think people are doing it wrong."
Share May 15, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert types at his computer and thinks, "This completes my portion of the project." Dilbert thinks, "This project is so well-engineered it would take a squadron of idiots to ruin it." Caption: "Meanwhile in Marketing" A stupid looking man dressed very sloppily says, "And when I'm napping, it is NOT okay to use my ears as coasters."
Share May 27, 1999's comic on:
The male office rebel with the spiked hair extends shakes Dilbert's hand and says, "You must be the new office rebel we heard about. Nice bathrobe." The other pierced male rebel says, "We're called rebels because we're easily manipulated into doing stupid things." Spiked hair rebel raises the roof and says, "Give it up fpr us! Whoo whoo!" Dilbert says, "I dare you to use branding irons on each other right now." Spiked haired says, "Start the fire!"
Share June 11, 1999's comic on:
Lawyer: can you explain the meaning of this internal email message? Dilbert: It says we'll "Use integration tools to leverage the utility of our enterprise- wide processes. Dilbert: It appears to be something we call communication. Lawyer: Perjury!
Share June 26, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. director" Catbert says, to Wally, "I will now use the science of facereading to dtermine your potential." CAtbert shines a flash light at Wally's face. Catbert says, "I see your face riding proudly atop a mighty thoroughbred horse." Wally says, "Jockey?" Catbert says, "Saddle."
Share December 02, 1999's comic on:
Alice stands in front of the boss's desk. The boss says to Alice while looking at a sheet of paper: "I can't send you to this class, Alice. We need you here." The boss says to Alice: "And after we use you up, we'll need you to be somewhere else." Alice says to Wally, who is standing in front of his cubicle: "What will I do when my skills are obsolete?" Wally answers while holding a cup of coffee: "Try walking around with a coffee cup"
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Share November 03, 1999's comic on:
Designing a Call Center Catbert: Give the employees six minutes of bathroom breaks per shift. The Boss: Tiny cubicles and we'll monitor calls and have incompatible objectives such as speed and customer service. = Wally: Hows the project going? Dilbert: Im still collecting the abuser requirements.