Use Software Comic Strips - Page 6

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871 Results for Use Software

View 51 - 60 results for use software comic strips. Discover the best "Use Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #not paid big bucks, #presentation, #use walkie talkie, #walk the talk, #carol, #look at paycheck

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The Boss says to his secretary, "When Dilbert comes by, tell him to add 'walk the talk' to his presentation." The secretary says to Dilbert, "He wants you to use a 'Walkie-Talkie' to do the presentation." Dilbert asks, "Um . . . Did he say why?" The secretary holds up her paycheck and says, "Hey, look at my paycheck! I just realized I don't get paid the big bucks!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #policies, #use prodcuts, #will to live, #new corporate policy, #not intended to punish

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Wally, Asok and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new corporate policy is that all employees must use the products we sell." Asok screams and shouts, "What have we done to deserve this??!!!" Asok asks Wally, "So you're saying that many of these policies are NOT intended to be punishments?" Wally replies, "You get used to it after you lose your will to live."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #shrink wrap license, #new software, #bill gates, #new mansion, #towel boy

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I didn't read all of the shrink-wrap license agreement on my new software until after I opened it." Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he pulls nervously at his tie. Dilbert continues, "Apparently I agreed to spend the rest of my life as a towel boy in Bill Gates' new mansion." Dogbert replies, "Call your lawyer." Dilbert says, "Too late. He opened the software yesterday. Now he's Bill Gates' laundry boy." Dogbert says, "It must be dangerous for lawyers to iron pants. They'd always have one hand in a pocket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #software license, #rumble, #prepare for assimilation

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the armrest of the couch. Dogbert says, ". . . So you didn't read the software license and you inadvertently agreed to be Bill Gates' towel boy in his huge new house. When do we move?" They hear a rumbling noise and the house shakes. A machine crashes through the wall and says, "Prepare for assimilation." Dilbert says, "The house has come for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1997's comic on:


Tags #asok the intern, #installed calendar, #software, #schedule meetings easuer, #cubicle justice, #meeting until 3006, #engineering

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Alice, Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I installed calendar software on our network." Asok continues, "Now you can see everyone's schedule and easily set up meetings." Dilbert tells Alice, "I say we grab him and apply some cubicle justice." Alice points to the monitor and replies, "Good idea, but I'm in meetings until the year 3006."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #new policy, #official company font, #obscure, #impractical font, #elbonia, #elbonian font

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Catbert stands at his desk and types, "New policy: all company documents MUST use the official company font . . ." Catbert purrs and thinks, "Let's see . . . What would be the most obscure and impractical font imaginable?" The caption says, "Somewhere in Elbonia." Dilbert tells an Elbonian, "I understand I can get the Elbonian font software from you." The man replies, "Yep. Unless you need consonants for some reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #labor saving software, #no labor, #dead office, #nothing on screen, #computer software, #Wally, #Dilbert

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Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk. Wally says, "I wrote this labor-saving software. Watch it do its thing." Dilbert and Wally watch the computer screen. Dilbert asks, "Who can you tell if it's working?" Wally replies, "You don't see any labor happening around here, do you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #despotic nations, #software license, #submit strip searches, #opening package

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Dilbert sits at his desk and reads the back of an envelope. He reads, "Software Licence: By opening this package you agree . . ." Dilbert reads, ". . . You will not make copies or export to despotic nations. You will submit to strip searches in your home . . ." Dilbert rips open the package. A large woman with a flashlight in her belt enters the room. She says, "Frankly, both of us would have been happier if you had just walked away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #network systems, #software manual, #manuals, #mean spirirted, #meet half way, #door, #window

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Dobert and Wally stand looking through a window in a door. Books are stacked on the other side. Dogbert says, "The software manuals are locked in this room." Dogbert continues, "I don't let users have manuals, for reasons that could only be described as mean-spirited." Wally presses himself against the glass and says, "Is there any way we can meet half-way on this?" Dogbert says, "Hey, that door didn't always have a window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #didn't use brain, #already knew, #car pool, #staff meeting, #steak alive

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I didn't use my brain this week." Wally says, "I listened to things I already knew; I waited for people who were late; I was a passenger in my car pool." The Boss says, "Let's start the staff meeting." Wally pumps his fist in the air and says, "Yes!! Keeping the streak alive!"