Users Address Books Comic Strips - Page 6
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Share August 05, 1996's comic on:
Tina types, "Tom, you delicious hunk of burning love: if you were in my cubicle now I'd . . ." Tina thinks, "It looks as if I'm working. Nobody can tell that I'm sending steamy e-mail to my new boyfriend." Dilbert says to Tina, "Tina, two things: watch out for the 'send to all' address, and thank you very much." Dilbert's tie and his hair stand up straight.
Share October 21, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert types, "On the surface, you seem to make some good points about technology . . ." Dilbert types, "But your e-mail address reveals your newbie identity. You're probably a goat herder or a cartoonist." Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "How does it feel to be an elitist technology bigot?" Dilbert says, "I prefer to think of myself as a technology 'have.'"
Share August 21, 1994's comic on:
The boss: Your proposal doesn't address the alternatives. Dilbert: There aren't any reasonable alternatives. The boss: There are always alternatives! Give me alternatives!! No wonder nothing gets done around here - not enough alternatives. typing: "we could lobby the government to give tax breaks to all idiot run businesses" "I could quit this stupid job and start a new career handing out towels at the gym" "Or we could use cow chips instead of microchips and save millions" The Boss: whats a cow chip? Dilbert: This job would be an example.
Share October 23, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "Our project is six months behind schedule." "Meanwhile, our technology has become obsolete and the users' requirements have changed." "Any suggestions?" Dilbert: "Let's stubbornly plod along and deliver the useless product that was originally requested." Wally: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" "We should restart every time something changes. That way we'll never be held accountable for results!" Alice: "You losers can work it out alone. I heard there's a job opening on project Caribou." The Boss: "Next on the agenda: our weekly team-building excercise." "
Share March 17, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the couch backrest. Dilbert says, "I have an ethical question, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "I'm here to help." Dilbert asks, "Is it better to give customers a low quality product in a timely fashion . . ." Dilbert continues, "Or is it better to lie about product availability until the bugs are fixed?" Dogbert snaps his paw and replies, "I will need my assistant, Ratbert, to address your ethical question." Ratbert stands next to Dogbert on the backrest. Dogbert says, "Let's say Ratbert is a trusting and innocent customer." Dogbert slaps Ratbert on the back and says, "Suppose somebody abuses his trust like this . . ." Ratbert falls between the couch cushions. Dilbert sits with his leg crossed under him and looks at Ratbert. Dilbert asks, "How does this relate to my situation?" Dogbert replies, "To be honest, I wasn't listening to you."
Share May 05, 1996's comic on:
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I need to move you one cubicle down." Dilbert asks, "Why?" The Boss replies, "That way my people will still be in a square pattern." The Boss explains, "You're in a random pattern now. The symmetry is bad." Dilbert says, "You want me to waste two days of work to move . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'll have no phone and no network connection for a week . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'll have to order new business cards and update my cubicle address on dozens of records." Dilbert continues, "And you still won't have a SQUARE because there are FIVE of us." A man stands in the door of Dilbert's cubicle holding a box. He tells Dilbert, "I got downsized. Apparently somebody complained that I formed a pentagon." Dilbert replies, "That can happen."
Share April 21, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Dogbert Consults" Sogbert stands on the boss's desk. DOgbert says, "Eliminate phone support for your product. Provide help only via the internet." Dogbert's tail wags and he says, "Then discourage people by making them answer an ominous list of personal questions." Man looks terrified in front of his computer the computer screen reads, "1. What is your home address? 2. When do you shower?"
Share July 13, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Dogbert gets a loan" Dogbert sits across the desk from a bank executive. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "I plan to buy all the copies of hte book I authored, thus making it a bestseller." Dogbert says, "And I'd like to use your house as collateral. Unless it's a dump." The banker says, "How are you planning to pay us back?" dogbert says, "Do you take books?"
Share May 11, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "We can fix our incomprehensible user interface for a million dollars." Dilbert continues, "Or we can close our eyes and wish real hard that our users won't care." The Boss closes his eyes and wishes real hard. Wally turns to Alice and says, "He's saving a million dollars. What did you do today?"
Share January 10, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert: I'm creating software that will help small investors pick stocks. "It combines past trends that are not indicative of the future with the user's hubris and ignorance." "Now all I need are testimonials from people whose results are not typical!" Dilbert: "So it works?"