Visit Mom Comic Strips - Page 6
106 Results for Visit Mom
View 51 - 60 results for visit mom comic strips. Discover the best "Visit Mom" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 28, 1996's comic on:
Phil and the Boss sit at a table eating lunch. Phil says, "Mom wanted me to be a manager like you. But I chose my own path." Phil continues, "I became Phil, the Ruler of Heck, the Punisher of Minor Sins!" The Boss asks, "How do you make money?" Phil answers, "Corporate sponsorship. 'Procter and Gamble' pays me to stay away from them." The Boss says, "You should sell a line of home-exercise spoons."
Share May 03, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk out of a restaurant. The sign in the window says, "All you can eat $7.00." A man yells, "Hey! Stop!" The waiter says, "You owe us another $14." The waiter continues, "You deliberately put more than you could eat on your plates." The man continues, "Technically, our agreement is 'all you can eat,' not 'all you can waste.'" The man thinks, "Mom wanted me to be a lawyer, but I said, 'No, food services is where I'm needed.'" Dilbert says, "I believe this is your department, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Technically, it's all you CAN eat, not all you DO eat." The man thinks, "Ooh . . . He's good."
Share July 03, 1997's comic on:
Asok sits at his desk and speaks into the phone. "Hi, Mom! Guess what." Asok sits in his cubicle and says, "I'm the process owner for our benchmarking intitive!" Asok holds his hand over the receiver and turns to Wally. There is a PC between them. Asok says, "She's crying with joy..." Wally says, "I used to think that too."
Share May 11, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert's mom, "Someday I'd like to see your office." Dilbert responds, "It's a cubicle, Mom." Dilbert's mom asks, "What's a cubicle?" Dilbert responds, "Imagine the most beautiful place on Earth." Dilbert's mom replies, "Okay. I've got it." Dilbert says, "Now imagine you can never go there because you live in a box."
Share May 21, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert and Allen walking down a hall. Dilbert asks, "So, Allen, what's it like to be a hideous sycophant?" Allen replies, "It's okay." Allen asks, "What's it like to have no hope of career advancement?" Dilbert responds, "Not bad." Allen and Dilbert sitting at table with food trays. Allen asks, "Were you born that way or is it a lifestyle choice?" Dilbert responds, "I'll ask my mom, but I think it was bad parenting."
Share November 20, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert's Mom pours a cup of coffee. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing out of his forehead. Dilbert says, "At least I can count on my mom to love me, despite my horn." Dilbert's Mom says, "Yes, of course, albeit not as much as before." Dilbert says, "How much less?" Dilbert's mom says, "Don't worry my love of unicorns practically covers the gap."
Share February 26, 1995's comic on:
Tags #chocolate cake, #engineer, #railroad, #big corproation, #fix typrwriters, #debugged tcp, #driver aplication, #isdn bonding, #cuts down to size, #dilmom, #cake to packing foam, #insulted cake, #engineering
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a couch. Dilbert's mom hands him a plate and says, "Here's some nice chocolate cake for you and Dogbert." Dilbert says, "Thank, Mom." Dogbert also says, "Thanks, Mom." Dilbert's mother says, "Tell me all about your job at the railroad." Dilbert replies, "It's not a railroad. I'm an engineer at a big corporation." Dilbert's mom asks, "Do you fix the typewriters when they break?" Dilbert replies, "No . . . Today I debugged a TCP/IP driver for an application that runs over ISDN with bonding." Dilbert's mom asks, "You mean, all you do is slap a BRI analyzer on a circuit and look for bad packets?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . Yeah. But it's really hard." Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I was doing okay until she offered to pay my tuition to typewriter repair school." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't have compared her cake to packing foam."
Share February 04, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert's mother offers him a cookie and says, "I'll never understand what you do for a living." Dilbert replies, "I told you I'm an engineer, Mom." Dilbert's mom says, "So you say, but you also say you spend all day in meetings. When do you do any engineering?" Dilbert replies, "Good point. Let's just say I'm what the experts call a 'knowledge worker.'" Dilbert's mother asks, "Which experts call it that?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know." Dilbert's mom asks, "What's the name of the product you're working on?" Dilbert responds, "I don't know what the acronym stands for . . ." Mom asks, "What kind of market penetration and return on investment do you expect?" Dilbert says, "Um . . . I don't know . . ." Dilbert's mom says, "Oh, dear . . . Well, I'm sure you're very punctual." Dilbert shouts, "Ask me another question!! C'mon . . ." Dogbert asks, "Why do they call you a 'KNOWLEDGE worker'?"
Share January 26, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert and his mother stand in the kitchen. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?" Dilbert's mother replies, "Oh, nothing. I have everything I need." Dilbert says, "Oh, c'mon. There must be something you want." His mother replies, "Well, one thing, but it's silly." They sit in chairs. Dilbert says, "You just name it." His mom replies, "Okay." Dilbert's mother says, "I'd like a home entertainment theatre with a fifty-inch screen, 'Thx' Surround Sound and a 600 KBPS satellite link to the Net so I can view adult pictures during the commercials." Dilbert replies, "I was thinking more along the lines of a new toaster oven." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, that's exciting. I'll put it next to my other one and watch them fight it out." Dilbert says, "There's a real dark side to the information age." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, and about the gift of life I gave you; you're welcome."
Share July 20, 1997's comic on:
Tags #cancelled meeting, #dilmom, #effort, #glass half full, #made extra money, #no over time pay, #not funded, #not important work, #optimitic, #power point slides worse, #wast of time, #waste of enery, #worked till midnight, #dilberts mother
Dilbert helps his mom with her coat. Dilbert says, "As usual, I worked until midnight last night, mom." Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least you made some extra money." Dilbert puts his jacket on. Dilbert says, "I don't get paid for over-time." Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom take a walk. Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least it was important work." Dilbert says, "Not really." Dilbert says, "My boss made me change my "Power-point" slides, but the changes made them worse." Mom says, "Well. at least you're prepared for you meeting." Dilbert says, "It was canceled." Dilbert and Mom seen in the distance. Dilbert says, "But that's okay, because the project isn't funded anyway." Mom says, "So....you worked for free to worsen a presentation for a meeting that won't happen for a project that doesn't exist?" Dilbert says, "Yup." Mom says, "Well...at least you could travel back in time without having any impact on history." Dilbert says, "Yeah, my glass is half full."