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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Care to join me for a walk?" Dogbert answers, "Sure." Dogbert says, "I hope you aren't planning to chew that gum at the same time." Dilbert says as he puts a piece of gum in his mouth, "Very funny." Dilbert lies on the ground with gum sticking to his feet, his arms and Dogbert. Dilbert says, "Boy! This is a lot harder than you would think." Dogbert growls.
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "You're saying my blind date is a tad on the large side . . .?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dogbert continues, "I'm saying her family portrait was taken by 'Voyager II.'" Dilbert replies, "Funny." Dilbert walks out of the room saying, "I'd better not keep her waiting at the door." Dogbert says, "Do not anger 'Jabba the Date.'"
Dilbert sits on the couch holding a thread and needle. Dogbert says, "I didn't know you could sew." Dilbert says, "I watched my mother do it when I was a kid. She taught me everything." Dilbert's arm and legs are stiched to the couch. Dilbert says, "We often found Mom sewed to the sofa."
Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. The woman next to Dilbert says, "Don't mind me today . . . It's almost time for my 'friend' to visit." Dilbert replies, "That's funny . . . I would think you'd be in a good mood if a friend were going to visit." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "She looked puffy, but she struck like a cobra." Dilbert's glasses are bent, his arm is in a sling and his clothes are disheveled.
A man in a lab coat hands Ratbert something that looks like a pill and says, "Just take one, Ratbert." Ratbert rolls back and forth on the lab bench and yells, "Aaargh!! I'm changing! I'm changing!" The scientist says, "It wasn't funny the first hundred times I gave you a Tic-Tac either." Ratbert says, "Let's try it again!"
An executive says, "The motion is approved. Dogbert is our new company president because he has the best hair." Dogbert says to a man who follows him taking notes, ". . . Bulldoze the employee cafeteria and put in my helicopter pad . . . And I need a few office improvements . . ." Dogbert points to the floor in front of his desk and says to the assistant, "We need a trap door here, but it won't be funny unless you can give me some 'flushing' sounds."
The caption says, "Ratbert's fate depends on the kindness of readers who are voting by electronic mail." Dilbert stands over Ratbert holding a rolled-up newspaper. Dogbert stands on the desk chair and looks at the computer. Dogbert says, "Don't worry, Ratbert. You won't get whacked unless people think senseless cruelty is somehow 'funny.'" Dogbert says, "Although I admit it would have a certain visual appeal." Ratbert yells, "You're not helping!!" The caption says, "Conclusion Nov. 29."
Dogbert stands on the desk chair. He says, "The e-mail votes have been tabulated. The will of the people is that Ratbert shall be spared from getting whacked with a magazine." Dilbert says to Ratbert, "I guess there's nothing funny about random cruelty." Bob the Dinosaur gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "Right! Cruelty is only funny if administered in a proper social context."
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Congratulations, Mister Dogbert. You submitted the lowest bid for creating our corporate fitness program." The Boss continues, "The other bidders wanted money. You're the only one who offered to do it just for the laughs." The Boss continues, "Although I don't see what's so funny about it." Dogbert replies, "Engineers . . . Aerobics . . . Think about it."
Dilbert says, "Hey, Dogbert! I just discovered I can fit an entire change of clothes into an empty 'Pringles' potato chip can." Dilbert continues, "Most of the fabrics I wear can be rolled up pretty tight . . . So . . . Uh . . ." Dilbert walks away thinking, "It's funny how the most brilliant idea can sound silly when you tell your dog."