Search Results for "weight loss"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
51 - 59 of 59

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2013's comic on:

Tags #gratitude, #lay offs, #seven engineers, #trying to succeed, #gratutude, #pressure off

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I had to lay off seven engineers and... I need you to pick up those functions. Dilbert: Wow! I feel a weight has been lifted from my chest. Now that my failure is guaranteed, I no longer feel the stress of trying to succeed! I don't know how to thank you for this. Boss: This didn't go the way I hoped.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #managers & supervisors, #government nagging, #rid of waste, #motivational paper weight, #nice going, #avoid licking, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The government is nagging us to get rid of our dangerous radioactive waste." The Boss says, "On a totally different topic, I'm giving each of you a motivational paperweight that says, 'Nice going.'" The Boss says, "Try to avoid licking them."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2011's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #exhibitions, #barf bag, #consumer electronics show, #new product cooler than anything, #weighs an ounce

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I see you have your giant-sized barf bag. You must be going to the consumer electronics show." Dilbert says, "Yup." Dilbert says, "Every time I see a new product that is cooler than anything we're working on, I'll go to the bag." Man says, "And it only weight one ounce!" FOOMP!!! At the show

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2004's comic on:

Tags #day off, #gerbil, #heartless, #horrible person, #insensitive, #mean, #sisters weight, #toss in casket, #twin sister death

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "I need a day off to attend my twin sister's funeral." The Boss: "A whole day? How well did you know her?" Carol: "She.. was.. my... twin." The Boss: "But not identical!" Carol: "How does that matter?" The Boss: "Well, she didn't even look like you." The Boss: "And yet you want a whole day off for a service that takes fifteen minutes." Carol: "Gaa! It would be impossible to be more insensitive!" The Boss: "I'll compromise. My pet gerbil is on his last legs. I'll give you the day off if you toss him in the casket so I don't have to bury him myself." Carol: "When do you think it will die?" The Boss: "Depends. How much does your sister weigh?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2014's comic on:

Tags #dieting & weight control, #stress, #overeating, #willpower, #downside, #20 year reduction, #life expectency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I took your advice to start overeating so I could save all of my willpower for work. The only downside is a twenty-year reduction in my life expectancy. Boss: Are you okay with that? Dilbert: Who would want twenty extra years of my life?

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2014's comic on:

Tags #exercise & fitness, #fear, #obesity, #insanity workout video, #sixty pounds, #one day, #sweat, #water weight, #obsession

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Weren't you obese yesterday? Dilbert: I got the "Insanity" workout video. Wally: What kind of exercise makes you lose sixty pounds in one day? Dilbert: I didn't exercise. All I did was watch it. Shaun T: And that was the easy part...

Boss Ends Neural Interface

Thank you for voting.
Boss Ends Neural Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2017's comic on:

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #amnesia, #forgetting, #memory loss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.

Boss Hits Jackpot

Thank you for voting.
Boss Hits Jackpot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2017's comic on:

Tags #gambling, #Win, #loss, #money, #obliviousness, #jackpot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My side job as a professional gambler is going great. I won a $5,000 jackpot this weekend. Dilbert: How much did you lose? Boss: About $700,000 and my wife. Wally: Didn't you tell her about the $5,000?

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2018's comic on:

Tags #money, #big business, #logic, #loss, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.