Welcome Comic Strips - Page 6

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98 Results for Welcome

View 51 - 60 results for welcome comic strips. Discover the best "Welcome" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #employee of the month, #award, #don't know my job, #never listen, #boss

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"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2006's comic on:


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Welcome to Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar. "Don't tell anyone that you retired. Just keep coming to work and collecting money for the weekly lottery pool. Then spend it on food." "I want my dollar back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2006's comic on:


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Welcome to Dogbert's school for zombies and/or certified project managers. "The training is the same for either profession. The main difference is that zombies get more sun." "Repeat after me: I want to calendar an on-site post cutover support review meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2006's comic on:


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"Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance." "First, review this list of your priorities." Family Job Exercise Vacation Must-Dos Medical Eating Hygiene Sleep Romance Holidays "You have time for three things. Work and holidays are two. You get to pick the third."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Welcome to 'Dogbert's Barge City', your floating paradise." "Please leave your cell phones behind, as well as anything else that might let you signal for help." "There's more garbage in paradise than you'd think."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2006's comic on:


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"Welcome to the monthly meeting of insane chicks." "Our speaker today is Betty, and her topic is 'All the people who are intentionally hurting us.'" "The breakout session is titled 'How to turn your imaginary problems into real ones.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2006's comic on:


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"Welcome to Dogbert's communication seminar." "Today you will learn how to use your Blackberry while pretending to listen." "Now repeat after me: Uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh. What was he thinking? Wow!" click click click click

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2000's comic on:


Tags #work place violence, #prevention training, #violent emplyees, #identify, #beards, #creepy, #ineffective males, #widely disprected

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Tina says to the group, "Welcome to workplace violence prevention training." Tina continues, "How can we identify potentially violent employees?" Wally raises his hand excitedly yelling, "Ooh! Ooh!" Tina says, "Wally?" Wally answers, "Do they have beards?" Tina replies, "Um...no. That was a stupid answer." Tina says, "Violent employees are usually creepy, inefficiently males who are widely disrespected." Dilbert raises his hand and asks Tina, "May I change seats?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #jewelry, #rich people, #expensive watch, #entire net worth, #ceo, #employee

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Asok: Holy moly! Your watch costs more than my entire net worth. CEO: Thank you. Asok: This isn't a "thank you" situation. CEO: You're welcome?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #10 thousand hours, #practice, #willingness, #mental disorder, #mediocrity

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Dilbert: Studies show it takes ten thousand hours of practice to be great at anything. Dogbert: I would think a willingness to practice the same thing for ten thousand hours is a mental disorder. Dilbert: That makes me feel better about my mediocrity. Dogbert: You're welcome.