Wife Divorced Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

64 Results for Wife Divorced

View 51 - 60 results for wife divorced comic strips. Discover the best "Wife Divorced" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is Dogbert's tech support. How may I abuse you?" "I get an error message every time I open an application." "Try giving me all of your personal information and then checking into rehab." "Then I'll have someone steal your identity and move in with your wife." "There's a good chance that the new guy will know how to fix your computer." "When you get out of rehab, talk your wife into taking you back." "Then never touch your computer again because it hurts the ones you love." "How's work?" "Everyone wants to talk to my supervisor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #telephones, #public address button, #calls, #talking to doctor, #talking dirty, #practice

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You keep pressing the public address button on your phone when you make calls. We can't tell if you're talking to your doctor or you're really, really bad at talking dirty to your wife. Boss: I use one to practice the other.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #frustration, #apples and oranges, #comparing fruit, #grow on trees, #nutritionally

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You can't compare apples and oranges. Dilbert: That's clearly wrong because you just compared them and declared them different. Wally: Apples and oranges are both foods that grow on trees. It would be totally valid to compare them nutritionally. Dilbert: I've noticed that a lot of what comes out of your mouth makes no sense. Boss: You sound like my wife. Wally: You can't compare your wife to your subordinate. That's apples and oranges. Boss: What is happening here? Wally: I don't know, but I wouldn't compare it to work.

Give Up On Making Them Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Give Up On Making Them Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #deception, #perspective, #work, #office, #marriage, #psychology, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.

Wally's Lateness Excuse

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Lateness Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuse, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.

Wally Might Be Jealous

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Might Be Jealous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #wife, #wives, #Women, #roles, #nagging, #demands, #cheating, #adultery, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I hear you have two work wives. Dilbert: You sound jealous. Wally: Do I? Tina: Stop what you're doing and drive me to my car. Wally: Hee-hee! Snork.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Ceo Uses Dating App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Ceo Uses Dating App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #app, #technology, #tinder, #match, #cheating, #adultery, #eskimo brothers, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!

Boss Hits Jackpot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Boss Hits Jackpot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gambling, #Win, #loss, #money, #obliviousness, #jackpot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My side job as a professional gambler is going great. I won a $5,000 jackpot this weekend. Dilbert: How much did you lose? Boss: About $700,000 and my wife. Wally: Didn't you tell her about the $5,000?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team, #teamwork, #collaboration, #excuses, #group project, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.