Chair Safety Training Comic Strips - Page 60

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

611 Results for Chair Safety Training

View 591 - 600 results for chair safety training comic strips. Discover the best "Chair Safety Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

Dilbert Characters

The Losing Team

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Losing Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blockchain, #training, #improvement, #legacy, #education, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to work on our blockchain project to keep my skills updated. Boss: I need you to be a team player and maintain our legacy systems until your technical skills become obsolete. Dilbert: What kind of team is that? Boss: You'll be on the losing team.

Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiation, #irony, #appointment, #deadline, #consultant, #training, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.

Negotiating Expert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #negotiation, #training, #irony, #obliviousness, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

Documents On Chairs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Documents On Chairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #paper

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.

Dogbert's Self Defense School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

Tina Likes To Hum

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoy, #business, #humming

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.

Casserole For Pot Luck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Casserole For Pot Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Food, #health & safety, #office, #office workers, #casserole, #potluck, #inspection, #home, #kitchen

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i brought a casserole for the potluck. when are you coming? dilbert: when was the last time the health department did an inspection of your home kitchen? tina: never dilbert: that's when i'll be going to the potluck.

Cross Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cross Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #business, #cross train, #fire, #job, #dumb, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.

Boss Is In A High Risk Group

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is In A High Risk Group - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.