Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 60

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Work Ethic

View 591 - 600 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, project plan, won't work, problem solver

View Transcript

Transcript

Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new dress code, consolidating, offcies, 20 people cubicle, impossible, thin film pil, no clothes, bad conditions, worst place work, awards, demoralize, inhumane, horrid conditions

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle." Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managing, easier, awards for best places, work, handle situation, losers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Managing is a lot easier now that we've given up on winning one of those 'Best Places to Work' awards. Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Not for losers." "There was a time when I wouldn't have known how to handle that situation."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mapped and gapped, consolidate, program of work, maximize synergy, capture and optimize, resource utilization, requirements

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "This week I mapped and gapped the requirements to consolidate everything into a program of work..." "...to maximize synergy capture and optimize our resource utilization." "If any of that sounded like work, I'll do some more of it next week."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career counselor, flower arranging, billionaire, work hard, defeat purpose, no work, doesn't want to work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, career counselor "What would you like to do with your degree in...flower arranging?" "I'd like to be a billionaire." "Are you willing to work hard?" "That would sort of defeat the purpose."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonian branch, in my own country, see you inperson, mud, work long hours, wear dockers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'll be managing the Elbonian branch office but I'll be based in my own country. "I'll never see you in person but I want you all to work long hours and wear Dockers." "What is he doing?" Elbonian: "Sometimes we use mud to muffle laughter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonian divison, do any work, every minute, hidden cameras, randomly fire, evil, buttocks tingle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My Elbonian division won't do any work unless someone is watching them every minute. Catbert: "Tell them you have hidden cameras." "Then randomly fire one Elbonian per week." The Boss: "Hee-hee! Evil makes my buttocks tingle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automated sytem, arbitrary deadline, work smarter, not harder, sense of urgency, get work done

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I can't develop an automated testing system by the arbitrary deadline you set." The Boss: "Try working smarter, not harder, with a sense of urgency, and a bias for action." Dilbert: "Or maybe you could do something differently." The Boss: "I'm not the one who can't get his work done."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags grossly underpaid, Dilbert, work for money, valuable, money, challanges, work for challenges, exchange

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, "I'm grossly underpaid. I want a raise." The Boss replies, "Oh, Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert." Dilbert responds, " What? What? What?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "People don't work here for money." The Boss continues in an enthused voice. "They work here for the challenge!" Dilbert answers, "If challenges are more valuable than money..." Dilbert continues, "Why don't you give me your money and I'll give you my challenges." After a moment of silence, Dilbert says "Well?" The Boss thinks to himself, "I must kill him before he infects the others."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, scientist, planet zorp, technolgies, engineers, transfer knowledge, work, fabric covered container, business, science

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Scientist: I am a scientist from the planet Zorp. I bring you technologies beyond your imagination. All I ask is that you let me work with your engineers to transfer this knowledge. They think 'work' means sitting in a fabric-covered container.