Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 60

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

702 Results for Lying Down

View 591 - 600 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Embellishing Resumes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Embellishing Resumes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags resume, lying, deception, accomplishments, management, success

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.

More Than Garfield

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More Than Garfield - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mondays, Garfield, sarcasm, teasing, conversation, antisocial, alienation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I hate Mondays more than Garfield. Wally: Why do you hate Garfield at all? Is it his total disregard for lasagna ownership? Alice: Don't speak to me again until Tuesday. Wally: One day down, four to go.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meditate, meditation, mindful, mindfulness, mbct, stress, trick, laziness, deception, work ethic, ruse, nap, napping

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?

Drones Attack Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drones Attack Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer, engineers, drone, drones, government contract, contractor, retaliation, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

G-Man 1: Oh-oh. The fugitive hacker Dilbert rolled down a hill and found a cell signal. G-Man 2: Relax. What can one engineer with a phone do against a superpower with armed drones? G-Man 1: Who do you think makes our drones???!!!

Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, technology, robot, nanobot, motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.

Ceo Compensation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Compensation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, worth, salary, wages, fairness, fair, pay, expenses, saving, rich people, executives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, work, results, observation, thinking, strategy, proof, evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, dumb, belief, furniture, new age, science, metaphysics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, text, texting, distraction, shout, diversion, charm, excitement, cheer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: (types on his phone). Wally: Go team! Can you turn down your charisma? I can barely sit still over here.

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, lying, sales, ethics, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.