Money Eveaporates Comic Strips - Page 60

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

606 Results for Money Eveaporates

View 591 - 600 results for money eveaporates comic strips. Discover the best "Money Eveaporates" comics from Dilbert.com.

Performance Versus Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Boss Negotiates With Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?

Feeling Loyal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Feeling Loyal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor, #visit, #healthy, #pill, #work, #money, #hard work

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: lately i've been feeling loyal to my company. and that makes me work extra hard for no extra money. do you have a pill to keep me from working so hard? doctor: they all do that if you take enough of them.

Manufacturing In Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manufacturing In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #out source, #elbonia, #money, #government, #reputation

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we're moving our manufacturing operations to elbonia to save money. dilbert: are you worried about elbonian government's reputation? boss: nah. i try to stay out of the weeds. dilbert: they're building concentration camps and rounding up dissenters. they intenionally poisoned a hundred thousand people in this country. they are habitual stealers of intellectual property, and they routinely ignore agreements they have signed. and they have a well-known goal of weakening other countries so they can dominate the world. boss: why can you just admit i'm saving money?

Worst Idea Ever

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worst Idea Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea, #savings, #fake, #psychic, #prediction, #money, #unhappy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: this is the worst idea i have ever seen. dilbert: didn't you once tell me you spent all of your savings on a fake psychic? and the only prediction she got right was that you would lose all of your money? boss: she also predicted i would be unhappy.

What Good Is Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Making World Better Place

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #money, #meeting, #employees, #taxes, #cancer, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

Punching Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Punching Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #improvement, #money, #morale, #punching, #violence, #kicking, #ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm looking for ideas to improve morale without spending money. alice: we could take turns punching you. boss yells: no punching! any other ideas? wally: did anyone suggest kicking?

Ghosts Use Bitcoin

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ghosts Use Bitcoin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #money, #die, #ghost, #password, #bitcoin, #clothes

View Transcript

Transcript

boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?

Transfer Money To The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.