Rich People Comic Strips - Page 60

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View 591 - 600 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hate people, never allowed shoes, Dogbert, hows my walking, dial, 1800

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"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lazy rich, new product, rebate, 1 million, banking on forgetting, great bargain, one person

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Dogbert: "Don't sell your new product for $29. Offer it at $1,000,029 with a rebate of $1,000,000." "People will think it's a great bargain when in fact it's just a huge inconvenience." The Boss: "And all we need is one person to forget to mail in the rebate forms." Dogbert: "We'll target the lazy rich."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company t shirt, not for temps, contractors, vendors, not size, downsized, leftover garage rags, morale

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The Boss: Everyone gets a company shirt! Its good for morale. The Boss: opps! Not for temps. None for contractors. Not for vendors. Nothing in your size. Not for people who might get down sized on Friday. I'lluse the leftovers as garage rags. CatBert: Did the shorts improve morale? The Boss: Sure did! I feel great!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ted, forward to ted, email, solved problems, project, being rude, remove from project

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Dilbert: Ted is being rude and helpful. Can you ask his boss to remove him from the project? The Boss: I'll forward this to Ted. That should help. Dilbert: I wonder how people solved problems before email.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job applaicants, new batch, 500 qualified people, who wants job, pummel each applicat, very soft itmes, harder materials, sugar doughnut, their attitudes, upbeat

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CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags watching tv, news anchors, report, tv cameras, shows, evil or stupid, heart disease, stupid, banter, stinks

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TV Anchorman: Researchers have proven that working with evil or stupid people causes heart disease. Ha Ha! I wonder if the amount of stupidness makes a difference. Your witty banter stinks today.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, jobs, want job your job, falling out of trees, dime a dozen, intimidation, job on line, idle threats

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The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, rich guy, care about personality, hugged too tight

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Alice gets downsized. Wally: "Maybe your next career could be marrying a rich guy." "There must be a guy out there who wouldn't care about your personality." "If she offers you a goodbye hug, don't take it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rehired, alice back, dulled instincts, first day abck, business picking up

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The Boss: Business is picking up. We need to rehire some of the people that we downsized. I hope the time off from work hasn't dulled their engineering instincts. The first day back is always the hardest.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation, cubicle, air duct, facilities, chip out penguin, cold, cooler

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"Office relocation." "Some cubicles are slightly less desirable than others." "For example, your new cubicle is below an air duct so it is sometimes cooler than the area around it." "I asked the facilities people to chip out the penguin as soon as possible."