Stop Watch Comic Strips - Page 60
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612 Results for Stop Watch
View 591 - 600 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 04,
2020
Wally Hates His App
Tags #business, #technology, #application, #stop, #fix, #hate, #developers, #need, #problem solving
Transcript
wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.
Thursday November 12,
2020
Yes Queen
Tags #business, #business people, #sarcasm, #value, #appreciation, #queen, #devalue
Transcript
asok: alice, i want you to know that i hear you and i value you. alice: that's terrific maybe you could stop talking to me in that super creepy and condescending way. asok: yes, queen. alice: who broke you?
Saturday December 05,
2020
Married Zoomers
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #video conference, #technology, #zoom, #anger, #married, #speakerphone, #room, #hear, #distracting
Transcript
dilbert with laptop on video conference. voice from laptop yelling: stop using your speakerphone! i'm trying to make a zoom call! i can still hear you! go in the other room! i said go in the other room! dilbert: being married sounds fun. Voice from laptop: i can still hear you!
Monday December 07,
2020
5 G Format
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #recommendation, #5g, #format, #industry, #standard, #tricking
Transcript
dilbert: and that's why i recommend creating a 5g format called orthogonal frequency division multiplexing. boss: that will never work. dilbert: it's already an industry standard. i was joking. boss: stop doing the to me. dilbert: i don't know if i can.
Tuesday December 22,
2020
Ethics Class
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #continuing education, #class, #ethics, #organizations, #competitive, #industry, #disadvantage, #worry
Transcript
boss: you are all required to complete a class in ethics. dilbert: wouldn't that make us the only ethical organization in our industry and create a competitive disadvantage that leads to our demise? boss: stop your worrying. the class is required, but i'm not expecting any of it to stick.
Wednesday December 23,
2020
No Makeup On Zoom
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #zoom, #call, #voice only, #makeup, #hermit, #fedex
Transcript
dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.
Saturday December 26,
2020
Dogbert The Watcher
Tags #work from home, #bribe, #home, #nap, #efficient, #employer, #employment, #wiser, #unethical
Transcript
dilbert at home. dilbert: i did more work from home today before 10 a.m. than i could do in the office all day. i could take a nap for the rest of the day, and no one would be the wiser. dogbert: your employer pays me to watch you at home, but i wouldn't say no to a well-considered bribe. dilbert: i can work with that.
Tuesday December 29,
2020
Microwaving Fish
Tags #managers & supervisors, #microwave, #fish, #working from home, #smell, #rotting, #corpse, #cubicle
Transcript
boss on phone. boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air. asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse. boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.
Thursday December 31,
2020
Dogbert The Auditor
Tags #business, #business ethics, #consultant, #company, #fee, #fraud, #crime, #report, #question
Transcript
dogbert: for a reasonable fee, i will audit your company and find any fraud or crime if it exists. dilbert: what's to stop you from taking bribes from the fraudsters and reporting that everything is fine? dogbert: my business model depends on you not asking that kind of question.
Tuesday January 26,
2021
Teamwork But
Tags #technology, #business, #teamwork, #limit, #competition, #salary, #funds, #battle, #meeting, #thinking, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: the key to success is teamwork. dilbert: then why does our compensation system pit employees against each other to battle for limited funds salary funds? boss: this meeting will go a lot smoother if you stop doing whatever you're doing right now. dilbert: i call it "thinking."