Wrong Budget Comic Strips - Page 60

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597 Results for Wrong Budget

View 591 - 597 results for wrong budget comic strips. Discover the best "Wrong Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #office, #raise, #project

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the boss: i can't give you a raise because you did not complete your project. dilbert: that's because you canceled my project for budget reasons and assigned me to work on another project. the boss: did you finish your new project? dilbert: you only recently assigned it to me. the boss: apparently, i keep giving you work, but you never complete any of it. dilbert visually distressed: that is a total distortion of what happened! dilbert: i can't reward you for having good intentions and finishing nothing! dilbert: why not wait and see now i do on my current project? the boss: we don't need that anymore.

Toxic Employee

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Toxic Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees

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boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.

The Bad Analogy Guy

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The Bad Analogy Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #office workers, #sarcasm, #war

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Man: This meeting reminds me of the sixth elbonian revolution. Therefore, logically, this meeting will end with bayonets. Asok: What's wrong with you? Man: Can I borrow your pen?

Wally Writes Fiction

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Wally Writes Fiction - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors

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wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.

No One Is Taking Advice

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No One Is Taking Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #confidence, #employees, #jobs, #office workers, #youth

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Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.

Spelling Crypto Wrong

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Spelling Crypto Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #frustrated, #learning, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #spelling, #words

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Dilbert: You spelled "crypto" wrong. Boss: No, I didn't. Dilbert: You spelled it "c-r-i-p-t-o". Boss: So? Dilbert: There is no "I" in crypto. Boss: That's how I learned to spell it. Dilbert: You learned it wrong. No one else spells it that way. Boss: Now you're criticizing me for being an inovator? Dilbert: It's not innovation! It's a mistake! Why can't you admit you are wrong?! Boss: Why can't you?

Ignorant Opinions

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Ignorant Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #insults, #office workers, #Opinion, #sarcasm

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Man: I told your boss I think your project is heading in the wrong direction. Dilbert: Given that you only know about 20% of what one should know to have an informed opinion on the topic, may I conclude that you are stupid and toxic? Man: You don't know me! Dilbert: I'm basing my opinion on the 20% I do know.