Asok Comic Strips - Page 60

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963 Results for Asok

View 591 - 600 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pointy haired boss, problem, project, upgrade denied, stupid resolution, extra disc space, conscioussness

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"When our pointy-haired boss asks you about your project, what should you say?" "I would inform him about any problems." "Big mistake. If he hears that you have a problem, he might try to help." "How can help be bad?" "Asok, how's your project?" "Good, but I need to upgrade my disk drive to store all of the image data." "Forget that. Just e-mail peices of the database to employees who have extra disc space." "Please pull on this until I lose consciousness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags your age, talking to youth, pleasure of flesh, not getting it, sought victory

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Wally: "When I was your age, Asok, I too sought the thrill of victory and the pleasure of the flesh." "But after twenty years of not getting either one, I made convenience my new mistress." "You know why I like talking to you?" Asok: "Because I am a good listener?" "No, because you're here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags banned, cell phones with cae, copied, digital form, emailed anywhere, evil director, excellent idea, new cell ohone, rendered useless, scanned, scrap book

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"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers." "My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!" "And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!" This one goes in the scrapbook." "Snap"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags revenue, people killed by product, health risks, kills people

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The Boss: "Our revenue is now double the number of people that our product has killed recently." Asok: "Our product costs $80. Are you saying that each one kills 40 people?" The Boss: "Our customers know the health risks, so technically they're killing themselves." Group: "So technically we aren't scum?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultation, enbrace idea, frees your mid, profitable products, ultra donut, 40 thousand calories, sharp objects

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: Once you embrace the idea that your customers deserve to die... ...it frees your mind to invent splendidly profitable products. Its called the ultra - donut: forty thousand calories and filled with sharp objects.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags senior vice president, impress, chummy with intern, slacking slacker, good motivation

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The Boss: The new senior vice president will be at my meeting, I hope to impress him with my leadership skills. Uh- oh underling alert. I can't be seen getting chummy with an intern, Pleas don't try to make conversation don't don't don't don't Asok: did you do anything fun this weekend? The boss: Here he comes! The boss: get back to work you slacking slacker!!! Good motivating! if he blows ho sons with every necktie. You're my new vice president.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no vacation, inability to plan, contact wedding guets, arranged marriage cancelled, project finished

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There will be no vacations until the project is finished. "It feels as if I am being punished for your inability to properly plan and staff." "I will contact my 800 wedding guests and tell them that my arranged marriage is cancelled." "Thanks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress free, unrealistic beliefs, people care, stapler, steal, coworkers, budget numbers, lying, briefcase, coffe cup

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Asok: Wally how can you be so stress free? Wally: Its quite simple. Stress is caused by an unrealistic belief that people care about you, I, on the other hand expect pope to be like me. Lets visit ted and I'll show you how this works. Ted, do you have the budget numbers that you promised me? Thats next on my to-do lit. While he was lying to me, I told his stapler, so I came out a head. He forgot his mug, Im going to sip that puppy into my briefcase.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags enterprise software, premium package, friendly user, economy option, cheap one, never had girlfreind, adult website, romantic invitations, 100 percent

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Our enterprise software comes in two flavors. The premium package boats a friendly user interface. The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life. we'll take the cheap one. I can tell by the ay you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend. I'll send romantic invitations to al the pope on the email address list. Dont worry - i"lll us etc text that I would on a great adult website. when I said that you need to give a hundred percent I shut have been more specific.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buck passer, do -it, one day tear away shirt

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The busk passer The boss: I have a do-it of ryou.... Here. Asok: GAAA!!! The one day that I don't wear my tear-away shirt and this happens!