Big Business Comic Strips - Page 60
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1000 Results for Big Business
View 591 - 600 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 28,
2019
Wally And His Priorities
Tags business, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played
Monday May 27,
2019
Wally's Reading Time
Tags business, meetings, office, office workers
Transcript
alice: wally, can we meet tomorrow at 8 am? wally: that's when i eat breakfast in the cafeteria. alice: how about 9 am? wally: that would bump into my bowel and reading time.
Sunday May 26,
2019
Tags business, employees, office, office workers, pay raise, employee of the year
Transcript
the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.
Saturday May 25,
2019
And Then Mark Said
Tags anger, business, office, office workers, relationships
Transcript
tina: ...and then mark said... dilbert: stop talking about mark! dilbert is visually angry. dilbert: all you do is talk about mark! i am so sick of mark. please talk about anything but mark. dilbert is still visually angry. tina: someone told me you'd say that. dilbert: was his name -- MARK? dilbert angry.
Friday May 24,
2019
Counting Morons
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, moron
Transcript
office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.
Thursday May 23,
2019
Your Quote Is High
Tags business, computer software, office, sales, sales personnel, quote
Transcript
dilbert: your quote is a bit high. can you do it cheaper? salesman: yes, we offer a low-cost option that involves me talking about the software, but you can't have it. dilbert: what would be the point of that? salesman: you're the one who brought it up.
Wednesday May 22,
2019
Wally Has Best Excuse
Tags boss, business, office, office workers, success
Transcript
wally: i was tempted to succeed this week, but i caught myself in time. wally: success would improve my odds of mating, and i don't think you want more people like me in this world. the boss: that is officially the best excuse for not working that i have ever heard. wally: shhh! don't compliment me in public!
Tuesday May 21,
2019
Worthless Suggestions
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
ted: i notice you didn't incorporate any of my suggestions in your final draft. ted: it's as if you are saying my ideas are worthless. dilbert: i would never say that. ted: so you're saying my ideas are good? dilbert: let's not reject ambiquity so quickly.
Monday May 20,
2019
Boss Edits Dumb Parts
Tags business, office, office workers, edit
Transcript
the boss: i edited your draft to fix all of the dumb parts. it's in your email. the boss: when do you think you will publish it? dilbert: depends how long it takes me to reverse all of your edits. undo undo undo.
Sunday May 19,
2019
Tags business, email, office workers, project manager, office, liar, photoshop
Transcript
office worker: why are you telling everyone my project got canceled? dilbert: i never said anything like that. office worker: you're such a liar. i saw your email to ted. dilbert: if i show you that email right now, and it says nothing about your project... will you admit you were wrong and humbly apologize to me? office worker: i don't think i can commit to that. dilbert: well, anyway, here it is, and you can plainly see you were wrong. office worker: this looks photo-shopped. dilbert: i don't see a winning path for me here.


