Computer Programmers Comic Strips - Page 60
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646 Results for Computer Programmers
View 591 - 600 results for computer programmers comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Programmers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 24,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, date-a-base, Women, nice, guy, quotes, donahue, sincere, expand, primates
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair using a computer while Dilbert watches. Dogbert says, "I'll search my Date-a-Base for women who want a nice guy and don't care about looks." Dogbert says, "All I'm getting are some quotes from guests on 'Donahue,' but they don't seem sincere." Dogbert continues, "Maybe if I expand the search to include all primates . . ." Dilbert asks, "Why did you add 'don't care about looks?'"
Monday September 07,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, multimedia, include, video, music, computer, programs, morning, face, theme, star wars, budget, spreadsheet, forgot, survived, ugly, science, collide, art
Transcript
Dilbert stands at a desk in front of a computer and video camera. Dilbert says, "It's called multimedia, Dogbert. Now I can include video and music with my computer programs." Dilbert continues, "This morning I added my face plus the theme song from 'Star Wars' to my budget spreadsheet." Dilbert continues, "I already forgot how I survived without it." Dogbert replies, "It can get pretty ugly when science and art collide."
Friday August 28,
1992
Tags Dilbert, computer, minutes, paid, ripping, evil, corporate, empire, power, secret, myself, nothing
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Hey, I haven't done a thing for minutes and yet I still get paid." Dilbert clenches his fists and thinks, "Hoo-hoo-ha! I'm ripping off the evil corporate empire and there's nothing they can do about it! I have total power!" Dilbert thinks, "I'd better keep this little secret to myself." Another employee sits in his cubicle thinking, "Hey, I'm getting paid for doing nothing!"
Thursday July 23,
1992
Tags disguise, squirrels, Dilbert, garbage, model, computer, chaos theory, complex, Alternative, wild guess, spy, squirrel
Transcript
Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I know that my computer model is accurate, but nobody believes me when I predict that squirrels will conquer the earth." The garbage man replies, "Of course, you're aware that according to 'Chaos Theory' any complex iterative model is no better than a wild guess, even if the logic is perfect." Dilbert replies, "You're making that up." The garbage man says, "You caught me; I'm really a giant spy squirrel in disguise."
Tuesday July 21,
1992
Tags computer, squirrels, Dilbert, Dogbert, script, life, super, model, predict, future, nut mines, evil, kidnapped
Transcript
Dilbert hands a book to Dogbert and says, "Here's the full script of the rest of your life. My supercomputer model predicted it." Dogbert reads the script and says, "Well, according to this I'll be kidnapped by evil squirrels and forced to work in their nut mines." Dilbert says, "They get me too." Dogbert says, "I didn't know that evil squirrels had nut mines." Dilbert replies, "It's probably too late to do anything about it."
Saturday July 18,
1992
Tags computer, Dilbert, Dogbert, math, talk, doing, circle, pi, jillion
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I spent my entire fortune to buy this supercomputer." Dogbert asks, "What does it do?" Dilbert replies, "It can calculate the value of pi to about a jillion decimal places . . ." Dilbert continues, "A lot of people TALK about the areas of circles, but I'm DOING something about it."
Friday July 17,
1992
Tags Dilbert, stock market, miserable, fortune, law of found money, chance, Win, intuition, guide, color, monitor, gray 9
Transcript
Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."
Thursday May 07,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, progress, supreme, ruler, fault, blame, pillow, computer
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "I've made little progress toward my goal of being supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert thinks, "Obviously it's not my fault. Somebody else must be to blame." Dogbert stares at Dilbert who is sitting at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I hate it when he just stares."
Monday April 20,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, played, hideous, prank, laugh, computer, desk, chair
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters and chuckles. Dilbert says, "Stop it, Dogbert! You're making that 'heh-heh' sound so I'll think you've played some hideous prank." Dogbert laughs harder and Dilbert thinks, "No . . . Not the maniacal laugh."
Saturday April 11,
1992
Tags Dilbert, marketing, brent, engineering, micorwave, oven, computer, workstation, forever, croissant
Transcript
A woman says to Dilbert, "So, you're temporarily assigned to marketing and Brent went to engineering?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . ." In engineering, Brent points to a computer and asks, "What kind of microwave oven is this?" Wally replies, "That's a fifty MIP Sparc workstation, Brent." Brent places a croissant on the monitor and thinks, "In other words, it's going to take FOREVER to warm my croissant."


