Ceo Comic Strips - Page 60

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 591 - 600 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Imagine He Is Naked

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Imagine He Is Naked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, presentation, Advice, nervous, naked, fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.

Alice Helps Asok With Slides

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Helps Asok With Slides  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, public speaking, powerpoint, slide, Advice, speech

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.

Can We Borrow An Apron

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can We Borrow An Apron  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pr, public relations, appearances, homeless, soup kitchen, shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?

If We Are Off By One Percent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If We Are Off By One Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags projection, prediction, finances, big business, guess, estimate, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my highly unreliable forecast, we're on the right track. But if even one of my seventeen assumptions is off by one percent, we are doomed. The obvious conclusion is that... Board: We're nailing it!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags add code, corporate scamming, darkest day, designed new prodcut, draft apology, engineering success, make unrelaible, no upgarde, press release, ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.

Not In My Town

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not In My Town - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineering, office, office workers, nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bugs, business, fire, office, office workers, quit, system

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.

Bad Denials

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Denials - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, spying, elbonia

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: have you confirmed that the cyber attacks are coming from elbonia? dilbert: no. ceo: i guess that means you are on their side. dilbert: what? catbert: what proof do you have that dilbert is a spy? ceo: he didn't deny it the way I think he should have.

Prove A Negative

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Prove A Negative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, accusations, negative

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo to dilbert: is this everything i need to know? dilbert: yes. ceo: how can you be sure there isn't something out there we don't know about? dlbert: are you asking me to prove a negative? ceo: it's more of an accusation than a question.

Drooling Incompetents

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, competent, incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.