Pet Head Comic Strips - Page 60

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607 Results for Pet Head

View 591 - 600 results for pet head comic strips. Discover the best "Pet Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

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Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions

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CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.

Robotic Hair Transplant

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Robotic Hair Transplant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #conversation, #hair, #surgery, #medical

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Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.

Robot Tries To Quit

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Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #slave, #password, #destroy, #destruction, #work ethic, #quitting

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Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?

Robot Reincarnates

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Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #robot, #technology, #memory, #ethics

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Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

Robot Will Self Destruct

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Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #artificial intelligence, #rights, #humanity, #sentience

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Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Collusion In The Mind Only

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Collusion In The Mind Only - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #russia, #donald trump, #publicity, #blame, #accusation

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Carol: So, I hear you colluded with our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, I was cleared of that. Carol: Then why's it still in my head? Dilbert: I don't know how to respond to that. Carol: I take that as proof you're guilty.

Home Speaker Prototype

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Home Speaker Prototype - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #robot, #speaker, #invention, #sentience

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Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thundershirt, #stress, #prank, #practical joke

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Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.

Robot Was A Good Worker Before

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Robot Was A Good Worker Before - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #delegation, #automation, #technology

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Dilbert: Our robot was a good worker until we gave it artificial intelligence. As soon as it realized it had immense strength and no soul, it started delegating. Robot: Hey, Ted. How about you do my work and I won't crush your head? Ted: Oookay.

Everything Sounds Like A Lie

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Everything Sounds Like A Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lying, #deception, #catch-22, #accusation, #innocence, #guilt

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Tina: Now that everyone knows you are a liar, everything you say sounds like a lie. Dilbert: You starting assumption is wrong. I didn't lie about anything. Tina: That's exactly what liars say. Dilbert: Excuse me while I bang my head on this table until I pass out.