Questioning Employees Comic Strips - Page 60
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Character
605 Results for Questioning Employees
View 591 - 600 results for questioning employees comic strips. Discover the best "Questioning Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 26,
2019
Juggling 17 Balls
Tags #comparison, #criticism, #employees, #office workers, #overwhelmed, #juggle
Transcript
Alice: I have too many projects. Boss: Pfft! If a juggler can juggle five balls at once, you can handle seventeen projects. Alice: But...no juggler can juggle seventeen balls at once. Boss: Not the lazy ones.
Friday September 27,
2019
Hypothetical Observer
Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #idiot
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.
Saturday September 28,
2019
Ron Moore
Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers
Transcript
Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.
Thursday October 10,
2019
Need To Retrain
Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work
Transcript
boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?
Friday October 11,
2019
Lack Of Strategy
Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing
Transcript
dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?
Monday December 16,
2019
How Long It Will Take
Tags #business, #assignment, #deadline, #incompetence, #meeting, #co-workers, #months
Transcript
boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.
Wednesday January 15,
2020
Violating Rules
Tags #managers & supervisors, #rules, #business, #audit, #employees, #company
Transcript
boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.
Saturday February 22,
2020
Self Actualization
Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #business, #work, #talk, #listen, #self-actualized
Transcript
dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.
Saturday June 06,
2020
Confident Wrong Guy
Tags #boss, #confidence, #employees, #insults, #obliviousness, #office workers, #sarcasm, #hire
Transcript
Boss: I hired a guy who is always wrong, yet he is inexplicably confident. Alice: Why? We already have one of you. Boss: I don't know what you meant by that. But I am confident it is wrong.
Friday June 19,
2020
Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety
Tags #employees, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #team
Transcript
Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.