Asok Comic Strips - Page 61

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

964 Results for Asok

View 601 - 610 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok's Phone Case

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Phone Case  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, aesthetics, impractical, practicality, break, screen, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I kept dropping my phone and breaking it, so now I keep it wrapped in a big ball of cotton. Wally: Why would you buy a phone that breaks so easily? Asok: I like the way it looks.

You Heard A Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 You Heard A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultaion, insult, rumor, divulge source, dating pillow, co - workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: Nevre insult your co workers directly. The company would fire you for that. Instead say you heard a rumor but you can't divulge your source. Asok: that feels wrong. Dogbert: Someone told me your dating your pillow.

Dilbert Won't Kill

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Won't Kill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags morals, ethics, self-driving cars, murder

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you program our self-driving car prototype to drive Ted off a bridge so I don't have to fire him? Dilbert: Just because I have the power to kill a person and leave no evidence whatsoever doesn't meal I'll do it. Boss: He says he won't kill anyone. Alice: Crud! Asok: Shoot! Carol: Dang!

Wally Pivots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pivots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.

Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asoks health, boss worried, brilliant ideas, misunderstand, too dumb, dilbert's mental health, called into question

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags team, teamwork, collaboration, excuses, group project, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.

Moth Man Visits Alice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Moth Man Visits Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, annoyance, mothman, anger, frustration, workload

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: The storytelling mothman you hired is keeping us from doing our work! He's in Alice's cubicle right now. Mothman: Gaaaa!!!! Asok: Sounds like he flew too close to the flame. Boss: Problem solved.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags berating, yelling, gaslight, temper, anger, frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, aspirations, relationships, betterment, warren buffett

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Warren Buffett says you should spent time with people who are better than you. Alice: Why would people who are better than me be dumb enough to spend time with me? Asok: Well... I assume you have to find people who are better than you, but not smart enough to avoid you. Because, obviously, you'd be bringing down the average of anyone who was better than you. Which reminds me, I need to cut this meeting short to keep my average up. Dilbert: Maybe we can continue the meeting without him. Alice: That would only be good for you. I need to find better people. Dilbert: The meeting went downhill from there. Dogbert: Can you wrap this up? You're bringing down my average.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, productivity, progress, project, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.