Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 61

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1000 Results for Avoid Work

View 601 - 610 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, job, happiness, fulfillment, meaning, pleasure, struggle, engagement, business, psychology

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Asok: I want a job I can enjoy. Dilbert: You want to work for free? Asok: No, I just want to get paid for doing things I want to do. Dilbert: Perhaps you misunderstand the true nature of "work." The reason your employer pays you is because work is unpleasant by its very nature. If the job were fun, the company would charge you a fee for letting you do it. Boss: Asok, I need you to climb into the dumpster and find out what's making it smell so bad. Asok: At least I'm doing something useful. Boss: No, it's more of a curiosity situation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags workload, work ethic, laziness, teamwork, team, philosophy, business

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Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.

Wally's Inappropriate Attire

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Wally's Inappropriate Attire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dress code, outfit, crop top, deception, ploy, trick, telecommuting, laziness, work ethic

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Boss: That is inappropriate office attire! Go home and work remotely for the rest of the day. Dilbert: How'd it work out? Wally: Phase one was a total success. Phase two involves napping.

Wally Accepts Bribes

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Wally Accepts Bribes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, bribery, money, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: I started accepting bribes from co-workers to incent me to do my job. Dilbert: If it didn't work for your employer, why do they think it will work for them? Wally: Something about optimism. Dilbert: They didn't say why? Wally: All I know is that no one paid me to listen to them.

Ranked By Performance

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Ranked By Performance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rank, success, failure, laziness, reward, work ethic, trying, effort

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Boss: I ranked all of you based on your performance. Wally came out on top because he didn't make any mistakes. Dilbert: He also didn't do any work. Wally: Why does everyone hate winners?

Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife

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Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags spouse, wife, insult, mean, game, obliviousness, relationships

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Boss: Alice doesn't want to be my work-wife. How about you? Tina; As your work-wife, would I be able to jokingly insult you in front of the others? Boss: Sure, ha ha! Tina: Okay, I'm in. Now run along, you ignorant sack of wet fertilizer. Boss: This is fun!

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress, deadline, work load, multitask, compensation, money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Remember Or Rumor

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Remember Or Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, ruse, trick, ego, top secret, project

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Boss: What is this "Red File" people keep telling me you're working on? Wally: Do you remember giving me this secret project, or should I spread the rumor that you have dementia? Boss: Oh, now I sort of remember. Wally: Good. Now run along while I work on the red file.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, torture, human resources, hr, manipulation, content, psychology, business

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Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.

Looks Good But Won't Work

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Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, impracticality, managers, leadership, threat

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Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.