Business People Comic Strips - Page 61

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Show Interest In Employees

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Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, business, doctor, employees, hate, interest, leave, life, managers & supervisors, prank, question

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alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Version 2 Kills

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Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, upgrade, software, technology, version, health, issue, nonsense

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wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

Factories No Buyers

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Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison

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Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.

Disbanding Task Force

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Disbanding Task Force  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

How To Identify Good Ideas

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How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, decision making, smart, people, idiot, agree, disagree, good, bad, idea, rational

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dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Boss Is White Supremacist

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Boss Is White Supremacist   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaint, covid, denial, envy, managers & supervisors, members, pandemic, staff, system, white supremacist

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catbert: members of your staff have complained that you are a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask: but...i'm not. catbert: that's not for you to decide. boss: who gets to decide? catbert: people who want your job. it's not a perfect system.

Dilbert Wants To Write Book

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Dilbert Wants To Write Book   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book, boring, colon, elephant, exercise, interesting, people, sarcasm, speaking, technology, write

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dilbert and dogbert wearing face masks on a walk. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a book. dogbert: can boring people write interesting books? dilbert: maybe i write better than i speak. dogbert: sure, and maybe an elephant lives in my colon.

False Modesty

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False Modesty  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, universities & colleges, education, harvard, false, modesty, major, face mask

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dilbert wearing face mask: what college did you go to? colleague wearing face mask: i'd rather not say. dilbert: the only people who answer that way are people who went to harvard. do they teach you false modesty? colleague: it was my major.

Bad Judge Of Character

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Bad Judge Of Character  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, bad, judge, character, hire, termite, clothes, disguise, youtube, makeup, video

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boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.

5 G Gives You A Bird Head

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  5 G Gives You A Bird Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, social media, bird head, study, apathy, 5g

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dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.