Money Eveaporates Comic Strips - Page 61
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
612 Results for Money Eveaporates
View 601 - 610 results for money eveaporates comic strips. Discover the best "Money Eveaporates" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 21,
2019
Wally Has Higher Income
Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday September 04,
2019
Company Pays Men More Than Women
Tags #boss, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #money, #relations between the sexes, #sex & gender, #salary
Transcript
Boss: It has come to my attention that our company pays men more than women. I have been asked to correct that situation. Dilbert: You're going to cut the pay of the men, right? Boss: No, no, no. I'm only going to ask you to identify as a woman.
Sunday October 13,
2019
Performance Versus Pay
Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.
Sunday October 27,
2019
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate
Transcript
Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?
Thursday April 30,
2020
Ceo Has Pandemic Plan
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #stock market, #money, #rich, #lost, #pandemic, #health, #underpay, #stategy
Transcript
ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.
Thursday June 04,
2020
Factories No Buyers
Tags #big business, #money, #sarcasm, #customers, #poison
Transcript
Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.
Sunday August 02,
2020
Dilbert Tells The Odds
Tags #business, #decision, #estimate, #managers & supervisors, #miscommunication, #odds, #technology, #wrong
Transcript
dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.
Saturday October 17,
2020
Lucky Profits
Tags #bonus, #business, #compensation, #executive, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #technology, #video conferencing, #zoom, #luck
Transcript
catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.
Thursday December 24,
2020
Wally Does Three Jobs
Tags #business, #money, #fortune, #employer, #employment, #working from home, #job, #manage, #expectations, #people
Transcript
wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.
Saturday January 02,
2021
Audit Blackmail
Tags #business ethics, #business, #audit, #software, #blackmail, #free, #network, #money, #dollars
Transcript
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.