Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 61

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View 601 - 610 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analyzed dna, most qualified applicant, willing to work, has three ears, snout, life expectancy of thursday, new guy

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Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags favorable article, publish press release, write it, work, pay, bride, blackmail

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Tina: I hope you don't expect me to write a favorable article about your company just because you bought me drinks. Dogbert: No, I expect you to publish my press release and act like you wrote it. Tina: You can work or you can get drunk , but the pay is exactly the same.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, office workers, unpaid intern, resort fee, work experience, zips eyeholes, leather hood

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Tina: Are you the new upaid intern? Coworker: No, but that's what I aspire to be. I'm merely an intern to another intern. And I pay a resort fee just to use the restroom. Tina: At least you get valuable work experience. Coworker: Until he zips the eyeholes on the leather hood I wear in meetings.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags suspicion, decisons, office, options, blame later, evil, record on phone. boss, work

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Dilbert: I need a decision of this by end of business today. Boss: Which option do you recommend? Dilbert: Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You're trying to set me up to take the blame later. I want to hear you make a decision, and I'm going to record it on my phone so you don't later deny it. Talk, you evil monster! Talk! All I know for sure is that the other approach wasn't going to work either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviews, resume, piece of work, lie, exaggeration, mispelling, bad format, failed prodcuts, salsa dancer, applicants resume, handsome fellow, busted

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Boss: Take a look at this resume. Alice: Ha ha! This guy is a piece of work! Lie... lie... exaggeration... misspelling... bad format... worked on failed products. Ooh! He's also a champion salsa dancer. What a tool! Wait. Why aren't you joining in the traditional mocking of the applicant's resume? Dilbert: I'm waiting to find out if he's the handsome fellow standing behind you. Alice: Scoot over. You're blocking my view of a handsome guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, redendancy, hard work, fired, card board boxes

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Boss: Ted, the merger has made your job redundant. As a reward for your years of hard work, feel free to use one of our cardboard boxes to get your junk out of here. Uh-oh. It looks like we forgot to hide the good boxes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dress cassually, drive innovation, flex hours, frustration, optimism, start up culture, valued work

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Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags delusional sociopath, executives, gardener, goat writing autobiograohy, hallucinations, hard work, intuition, magical thinking, non-fiction, vision, regrets

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Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, team members, work, motivation, make waves

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Dilbert: I can't get one of my team members to do any work. I'm hoping you can talk to his boss. Boss: I don't want to make waves. Dilbert: It's your job to make waves! They pay you to make waves, you worthless pile of stupidity! Oops. Wally: I heard you made waves. How'd that work out? Dilbert: Surprisingly bad.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, sense of urgency, energy, pretend to work, fake urgency, vague goals, health

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Boss: We need to have a sense of urgency. Wally: I use most of my energy pretending to work, but I can add a layer of fake urgency if you really need it. Boss: What? Wally: I gotta go! I have vague goals to achieve!