Ceo Comic Strips - Page 61
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627 Results for Ceo
View 601 - 610 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 14,
2020
Survivor Guilt
Tags coronavirus, managers & supervisors, business, double, income, pandemic, covid, survivor guilt, sympathy, face mask
Transcript
ceo: well, i personally doubled my income during the pandemic. now i have a bad case of survivor guilt. dilbert: do you expect to get much sympathy for that? ceo: i won't know until i try.
Saturday October 17,
2020
Lucky Profits
Tags bonus, business, compensation, executive, managers & supervisors, pandemic, sarcasm, technology, video conferencing, zoom, luck
Transcript
catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.
Saturday January 02,
2021
Audit Blackmail
Tags business ethics, business, audit, software, blackmail, free, network, money, dollars
Transcript
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.
Sunday March 07,
2021
Fired For Social Media
Tags social media, business, technology, employment, fire, offensive, bad, people, twitter, issues, context, sides, associate, monsters
Transcript
boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.
Monday March 29,
2021
Ceo Is Accused
Tags business, complaint, managers & supervisors, subordinate, accuse, inappropriate, crime, hug, defense, legal
Transcript
catbert: seventy-three subordinates are accusing you of inappropriate behavior. ceo: i don't see what's so "inappropriate" about threatening to ruin a subordinate's career unless i get a hug. catbert: you know that's a crime, right? ceo: maybe i shouldn't handle my own defense.
Tuesday March 30,
2021
Dogbert Crisis Consultant
Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense
Transcript
dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."
Thursday April 01,
2021
Ruined The Stock Price
Tags business, technology, stock, subordinate, inappropriate, behavior, bonus, money, paper towel, ceo, work
Transcript
boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.
Friday April 02,
2021
Dogbert Makes A Deal
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, subordinates, behavior, accusation, press, douse, gasoline, fire, deal, fairness, negotiators
Transcript
dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.
Saturday April 03,
2021
Only One Thing Ceo Can Do
Tags business ethics, business, press, subordinates, inapproriate, behavior, quit, murder, correct
Transcript
ceo: the press is all over me because seventy-three subordinates accused me of inappropriate behavior. there's only one thing i can do. boss: quit. ceo thinking: now i know who to murder to divert the press. boss: am i right?


