Wally Comic Strips - Page 61

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Wally

View 601 - 610 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, bonus, capitalism, flawed premise, less work, wally bonus, worked less, implications staggering, frightening bonus

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a table. Alice says, "I did less work than usual this quarter and I got a bonus." Alice says, "The implications are staggering. The entire system of capitalism has a flawed premise." Alice says, "There's only ONE thing that could make this bonus more frightening." Wally says, "I got one, too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good idea, nurture passion, rebellious employees, sarcastic employees, startegies, wearing culottes

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "From now on, we'll nurture the passion of our rebellious employees and form strategies around them." Wally says, "We don't have any rebellious employees. The last one got fired for wearing culottes on casual day." The Boss says, "It was such a good idea in my head." Wally says, "We still have some sarcastic employees. Can you work with that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ten percent raise, fifteen percent more, twenty percent, no budget, raises, give big raises, reward for leaving work, price sheet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "I want a ten-percent raise." The Boss replies, "There's no budget for raises." Dilbert holds up a letter and says, "I have an offer from another company that will pay fifteen percent more." The Boss says, "I'll give you twenty percent if you stay." Dilbert says, "I thought you said there's no budget for raises." The Boss replies, "Well . . . It's supposed to be a secret but . . ." The Boss says, "Our policy is to give big raises to people who spend their time interviewing for other jobs." Dilbert tells Alice and Wally, "Good news! The secret company policy is to reward disloyalty!" They cheer and shout, "Yes! Yippee!" Wally asks, "What's the reward for leaving work early?" Dilbert replies, "He wouldn't show me the price sheet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags benchmarking initiative, crying with joy, mother, phone call, asok, calls mother, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok sits at his desk and speaks into the phone. "Hi, Mom! Guess what." Asok sits in his cubicle and says, "I'm the process owner for our benchmarking intitive!" Asok holds his hand over the receiver and turns to Wally. There is a PC between them. Asok says, "She's crying with joy..." Wally says, "I used to think that too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brilliant advice, few points, iq points, not harder, people, pillow gone, smarter, speak latin, wally dream, wanting to, working in dump, work smarter

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally lies in bed dreaming. In his dream, he says to The Boss, "Hey, Pointy-Hair!" Wally says, "Thanks for the brilliant advice that I should, 'Work smarter, not harder.'" Wally continues, "I didn't realize people could become smarter just by wanting to." Wally groans and his head begins to bulge. He says, "Watch me add a few IQ points right now!" The Boss looks wide eyed. Wally says, "Wow! Suddenly, I can speak Latin!" Wally groans some more, "Let's crank it up a few more points." Wally's head is humongous. He says, "Why am I working in this dump? I should be a consultant." The dream over, Wally is at work holding a coffee cup. His head remains humongous. He says to Dilbert, "When I woke up, my pillow was gone." Dilbert says, "Oh wow. You woke up in the wrong joke."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment done, copies, black and white, colors, irrelevant changes, printing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands a graph to The Boss. He says, "It's done." The Boss respons, "I thought I asked for that to be in color." Wally says, "Black and white are both colors. So technically... oh, wait I see what you mean." Wally sits in front of his PC. Dilbert says to him, "Is that all it took to satisfy his need for irrelevent changes?" Wally says, "And I did it while the color copies were printing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finest executives, created statements, core values, help community, producing state of the art, business soultions, didn't skimp, nine executives

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sists at a conference table with Wally and Dilbert. He waves a pice of paer and says, "Ten of our finest executives got together and created a statement of our core values." The Boss quotes from the document, "We help the community and the world by producing state-of-the-art business solutions." Wally responds, "I'm glad we didn't skimp and try to do that with only nine executives." Dilbert adds, "Yeah. It might have sucked."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agenda, ubr, first job, crash dummies, spent a fortune, unfocused boss rambling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert passes out paper to The Boss and Wally. The boss has a pencil and Wally has a coffee mug. Dilbert says, "Here's the agenda. The first hour will be U.B.R., as usual." The Boss sits at the conference table with Wally and Alice. He says, "This reminds me of my first job, before crash test dummies were popular. man, I spent a fortune on aspirin." Alice asks Dilbert, who has his feet up on the table, "What exactly is U.B.R.?" Dilbert answers, 'Unfocused Boss Rambling. Only 58 minutes to go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags perfromance review, meeting over, stood up, boss, talked about himself, self centered, egotistical, unprofessional

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind his desk and says to Asok who is seated in front, "...and that's your performance review. Any questions?" Asok the intern says, "You talked about yourself for the full hour. Can we talk about me?" The Boss says, "Okay. YOU don't seem to know that YOUR meeting is over when YOU see me stand up." Asok says, "ooh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, abuse people, reduce turnover, job titles, convicted felon

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the Evil H.R. Director, sits at his desk. He thinks, "I can't abuse people if they quit the company. I'd better find a way to reduce turnover." Catbert types into his PC, "All job titles will be changed as follows..." Wally stares at his computer screen and says, "My new title is... "Convicted Felon." Dilbert says, "That's look good on the ol' resume."