Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 61
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 601 - 610 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 27,
2007
Tags good will, purchased, redesigned headquarters, horses rump, executive suite
Transcript
Dogbert: "Now that I have purchased your company's goodwill, I plan to make some changes." "I redesigned your headquarters building." CEO: "What's this part that looks like a horse's rump?" Dogbert: "That's the entrance to the executive suite."
Saturday August 25,
2007
Tags goodwill, balance sheet, mysetrious buyer, million dollars, job satisaction
Transcript
CEO: We have too much goodwill on the balance sheet. I decided to sell some of it. "A mysterious buyer offered a million dollars for the right to decrease our goodwill." Dogbert: "You might have a bit less job satisfaction next week."
Thursday August 23,
2007
Tags dreams, childhood dreams, fabric covered box, living proof, Women, don't like winners, excuse for rejection
Transcript
Dilbert: "When I was a boy, I dreamed of one day working in a fabric-covered box." "I'm living proof that dreams can come true." "Women don't like winners either."
Tuesday August 14,
2007
Tags assisnation, campigning, hateful, rat, running mate, unpopular, vice presidentail
Transcript
Dogbert: "Ratbert, I want you to be my vice presidential running mate." "Your job is to be so unpopular that no one will want to assassinate me." Ratbert: "I can do that!" Dilbert: "Seriously. Stop campaigning on my shoe." grrr!!!
Monday August 13,
2007
Tags presdient, first 100 days, carve name, furniture, switzerland
Transcript
"If you are elected president, what will you do in the first hundred days?" "I figure it will take me at least that long to carve my name in all the furniture." "Then it would be time to wipe that smug smile off of Switzerland's face."
Saturday August 11,
2007
Tags dogbert for president, terrorits, skull, salad bowls, steal money, vote, pollution has viatamins, lies, fabrications, intimidations, Politics
Transcript
Dogbert for President "Vote for me or the terrorists will use your skulls for salad bowls." "I promise to take money from the people who don't vote for me and give it to the people who do." "Pollution has vitamins!" "I like how he makes me feel."
Friday August 10,
2007
Tags tall pants, old fashioned, hairpiece, glove on tail, money to treasury, first primary
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm wearing my tall pants and my old-fashioned hairpiece because I'm running for president. "I put a glove on my tail so I can shake 50% more hands." "My policy is to give all the money in the treasury to Iowans. But I might flip-flop after the first primary."
Wednesday August 01,
2007
Tags management software, track 3, least valuable asset, noise cancellation, headphones
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, I bought Dogbert's Management Software to yell at you so I don't have to." "I recommend Track 3, titled 'You're my least valuable asset'." Dogbert: Who wants to buy Dogbert's noise cancellation headphones for bad employees?" "I need you less than my mousepad."
Tuesday July 31,
2007
Tags management problems, solve by yelling, buying software
Transcript
Dogbert: There are two kinds of management problems. "There's the kind you can solve by yelling and the kind you can solve by buying some sort of software." "That's why I created 'Some sort of software that yells'." The boss: "Ooo!!!"
Saturday July 28,
2007
Tags eliminated budget, automated test software, new code, automated test, end any converstaion, calling person big baby
Transcript
Dilbert: "You eliminated the budget for automated test software. How are we going to test our new code?" The Boss: "Go write some automated test software, you big baby. I already pay you, so it's free." Dilbert: "Today I learned I can end any conversation by calling the other person a big baby." Dogbert: "Waa-waa! Do you want your bottle?"

