Insult Co Workers Comic Strips - Page 61
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Share June 14, 1998's comic on:
Caption reads: Dogbert's First Law of Business. Dogbert says, "Reality is always controlled by the people who are most insane." Caption reads: Example. A co-worker enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Thanks for agreeing to work on my project." Dilbert turns and says, "I never agreed to work on your project." The co-worker raises her arm and yells, "You can't change your mind now! It's too late to get someone else!" Dilbert says, "Um...I'm not changing my mind. I clearly said I would NOT work on your project." The co-worker drops her papers and screams, "You lying weasel! I'll ruin you!!" Dilbert shouts, "Okay! Okay! I'll work on your project!" The same co-worker enters Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, thanks for agreeing to donate your computer to my project." Wally says, "What?"
Share June 07, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert stares at his computer screen and thinks, "I need coffee." He continues, "But I'm too tired to go get it." Dilbert leans back and thinks frantically, "I'm in a downward spiral!" Dilbert hangs limply in his chair as he thinks, "My arms go limp. The antidote is only yards away but I am immobile." Ted walks by Dilbert's cubicle as Dibert thinks, "Maybe someone will notice and bring coffee." Alice and Wally lean into Dilbert's cubicle and Dilbert thinks, "My co-workers found me. I'm saved!" Wally and Alice walk out of Dilbert's cubicle carrying his monitor and computer. Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert naked with something on his face. Dilbert explains, "As the frenzied mob ripped off my trousers, someone spilled coffee on me." Dogbert replies, "Wow, lucky."
Share April 15, 1998's comic on:
A secretary holds an envelope and tells an uptight co-worker, "I'm collecting for Ed's farewell gift." Woman pulls something out of the envelope and says, "Ed, you treated me like dirt. I find you guilty and I fine you five dollars." First woman says, "I just put that in there." Angry woman says, "Come back if you get more."
Share April 14, 1998's comic on:
Alice tells Dilbert and Wally, "I'm glad he quit. He was such an obnoxious, useless co-worker." Dilbert says, "We had to be nice to him because we needed his cooperatin." Wally yells, "The jerk!" Wally complains, "He should check the expiration date on his cologne!" Ed angrily thinks, "Next time, I will not give two weeks' notice."
Share April 12, 1998's comic on:
Ed lies in the therapy bed and tells Dogbert, " I criticize my co-workers to make myself look smart." Dogbert says, "Apparently it isn't working." Ed asks, "What do you mean by that?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. Oooh. That reminds me to add nuts to my grocery list." Dogbert says, "I recommend that we have weekly sessions until you run out of money." Ed asks, "Can you cure me?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm paid by the hour. I'll give you problems you've never even heard of." Dogbert says, "We have a few minutes today. Would you like a false memory?" Ed replies, "Maybe something with aliens?"
Share April 05, 1998's comic on:
A presenter says, ".. Now let's look at our year-to-date variance in depreciation." Alice notices a sleeping co-worker on one side and thinks, "Only five minutes left of our four hour meeting." There is another sleeping co-worker on her other side. Alice thinks, "Uf he keeps droning, there won't be any time for my presentation." Alice thinks, "I spent a whole week preparing my presentation." Alice realizes, "Everyone else is already asleep." Alice plans, "My only hope is to stun the presenter with a stale donut." Presenter points to a chart and says, "As you can see, there's nothing to report." A donut heads for the back of the presenter's head." Alice thinks, "I wasted a donut." Everyone around her is sleeping.
Share February 02, 1998's comic on:
WARNING!! Dogbert sits behind a desk with Wally and says, "Author Norman Solomon has determined that the Dilbert comic strip is harmful to workers." A comic strip sits on the table. Dogbert shows the comic strip to Wally and says, "I will demonstrate the danger with this carefully controlled experiment." Dogbert asks, "Have your palns for rebellion been replaced by sarcasm and complacency?" Wally rubs his head and says, "And I think I'm going bald, too!"
Share November 20, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "First question: What would you losers do if a small dog with glasses took advantage of you?" A man shakes his fist and says, "We would complain to the... um... whoever handles that sort of thing!" The woman says, "Yeah!" The man shows up at the "Bureau of Dogs." He says to Dogbert, who sits behind a desk earing a turban, "It costs fifty bucks to file a complaint?" Dogbert says, "And ten bucks to borrow a pen."
Share November 19, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "You've all been carefully screened for this focus group." Dogbert continues, "Each of you has a pattern of making "Loser Choices." I'll tell my clients to do the opposite of whatever you recommend." One man says, "Fun! I'm glad I skipped jury duty to be here." THe woman next to him says, "I rescheduled my liver transplant!"
Share November 18, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and carries a Frisbee. He says, "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers." Dilbert throws the Frisbee while Dogbert watches it float away. Dilbert says, "It's always a good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they don't like it." Dogbert's Research Co. A man says to a woman, 'What a coincidence. We both lost three homes in flood zones." The woman is in love. Dogbert says, "Let's begin."