New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 61

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View 601 - 610 results for new york harbor comic strips. Discover the best "New York Harbor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pay calculated, teal, side conversations, cilantro, head will explode, test theory, better than hoped, meeting, table, conference table, business

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"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss's office, employee, exciting challenges, fertilized plant, hard work done, tree grows

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Asok: "I worked nights and weekends to finish my project ahead of schedule." The Boss: "Good. Here's more work." Asok: "I don't understand. Am I being punished for working hard?" The Boss: "No, you're being rewarded with exciting new challenges." Asok: "Why does the plant grow faster when you say things like that?" The Boss: "No reason." "Stop that!" "Anyway, your annual performance review will award your hard work." Wally: That is one fertilized plant

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new boss, goat head, puts spell, workers, finish project, sadistic, fair, witch as boss, motivation

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The New Boss "Maybe you'll be more motivated with a goat head." "The spell won't go away until you finish your project." "She's a big improvement over our last boss." "She's sadistic, but she's fair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sexism, witch coven, new manager, face growl, new dress code, winged monkey, called tough

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Zenox: "I'm Zenox, the new manager of this coven... I mean department." "When I am displeased I make this face and growl like the undead." Grrow-eeeahh! "The new dress code is 'winged monkey.'" Dilbert: "If a man acted like you he'd be called tough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ytransferred, new job, secretary job eliminated, masive incompetence, resentment, anger, splitting mad, offers new job

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The Boss: "Carol, two things: First, I got transferred to a new job, and that means your job here is eliminated." Carol: "Why must I suffer for your massive incompetence? You worthless pile of stinking crud!" "And the second thing?" The boss: "I'll need a secretary at the new job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new senior engineer, ready for promotion, 5 year intern, mean, unfair, poor business model, department won't grow, train new guy

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Asok: "I heard that you got approval to hire a new Senior Engineer." "As an intern, I have performed all the functions of a Senior Engineer for the past five years. I am now ready for promotion." The Boss: "I plan to hire someone from outside the company." "Must control tiny fists of intern fury." The Boss: "I have the approval to fill the Senior Engineer position but there's a ban on hiring new interns." "So, if I promote you, my empire... oops... I mean my department won't grow." Ask: "Gaaaa! My despair has turned into a searing psychological pain! Ow ow ow!" "That reminds me, I need you to train the new guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags home theater, dvd, hd, dvr, satellite dish, mp3, widescreen, universal remote, people over, turn on

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The Boss: "My new home theater is amazing." "It's got a dvd, hd, dvr, fm, satellite dish, mp3, widescreen tv, seven speakers and a universal remote." "It's fun to invite people over so they can show me how to turn it on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new wireless hassock prodcut, sales people, work in teams, wear e;ectroshock, close the deal

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The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buff bufferman, rock climbing, blizzards, pair of eacles, leap off, gran legs, raging river, white water, keyboard, hunched over

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The Boss: "Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Buff Bufferman." "Tell Dilbert what you do for fun." Buff: "I like to go rock climbing during blizzards." The boss: "Escape." Buff: "At the top, I wait for a pair of eagles to fly by. Then I leap off and grab them by the legs." "The eagles slow my descent to the raging river below." "I try to land on a floating log and surf the white water all the way home." Dilbert: "I use a key-board." Buff: "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert: "Sometimes I type all hunched over." "Ow! Ow! It hurts to hear it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags send threatening emails, train new guy, easily downsize later, boss threatens alice, job security, male, female, training, alices bad advice

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The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."