Office Equipment Comic Strips - Page 61

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View 601 - 610 results for office equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Office Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doctors office, doctors note, sick, doesn't believe, waiting room, ethical, believe, lie, nine diseases, medical

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Dilbert: I need a doctor's note for the two days of work I missed." Doctor: You look healthy to me. Dilbert: I got better. Doctor: how do I know you were sick? Dilbert: The note just needs to say I was sick. Doctor: so you want me to lie?" It's not a lie. I really was sick. Medical Doctor: If your company doesn't trust you, why should I?" Dilbert: Good point. What if I let the people in your waiting room cough on me? Then you can write a note saying I have what they have. Doctor: As long as I didn't recommend it. I think that passes ethical muster." The Boss: You have nine diseases?" Dilbert: That have names.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jesus, leader, team leader, in need, 12 people, upgrade systems, lunch meeting, bed feelings, savior, office

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It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags borrow pen, company like family, culture, search computer, sign docuemnt, test for dugs, trust and respect, manipulate

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CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags five year plan, five minutes, office, room, conference room

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The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, distraction, meeting, move, office, phone ring, rug catch fire, business

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Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags travel expenses, meal costs, liar or worse, round numbers, finance troll, papers, office, computer, desk, technology

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Finance troll: Your travel expenses are rejected because all of your meal costs are round numbers. Either you are a liar or worse. Dilbert: I decide what to order based on what totals to a round number after a 15% tip. Finance: That's worse.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags corner, cubilce, door, fantasy, nutrients, office, replacement, giant mushroom

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The Boss: Now that you're out of the loop, your new cubicle will be a giant mushroom. It's a pleasant environment except when the mushroom gets its nutrients. wally: Nutrients?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags day off, empty office, holiday, loser, new years day, work, worked

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Tina: What did you do for New Year's Day? Dilbert: I forgot it was a holiday and came to work for ten hours." Tina: That's sort of loserish. Dilbert: Thanks for labeling it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, worker, office, wrong path, precise verbal explanation, embarrassment of undoing, good plan, progress, mistreatment of workers, corrupt policices, bad boss

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The Boss: "Dilbert, I need you to do something, but I don't have time to fully explain it." "I'll give you just enough information to send you down the wrong path." "Later, after you do it wrong. I'll treat you like you're some sort of idiot." "Then I'll put you through the embarrassment of undoing everything you did." "This might not sound like a good plan to you." "But it takes the task off of my plate and puts it on yours." "That's called progress." Dilbert: "Today I helped make progress." Garbageman: "Better luck tomorrow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags borrow pen, need pen, order pen, order pens, parasitic arrangement, supplies, stingy, selfish, dysfunctional offcie, office supplies, fill out form

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Dilbert: "Can I order some pens?" Carol: "No, it's impossible." "You need a pen to fill out the pen request form. And if you have a pen, you're not allowed to order one." Dilbert: "Maybe I could borrow your pen." Carol: "That sounds like some sort of parasitic arrangement."