Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 61
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1000 Results for Office Politics
View 601 - 610 results for office politics comic strips. Discover the best "Office Politics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 16,
2008
Tags office workers, valuable, value, legacy system, less valuable, never appear less valuable, dress code troll
Transcript
Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."
Monday December 15,
2008
Tags boss, office workers, legacy sytems, biggest rind, compost heap, bacteria
Transcript
The boss: How would you like to be in charge of legacy systems? Dilbert: That's like being the biggest rind in the compost heap. The boss: Do it anyways. Dilbert: I surrender to the bacteria.
Thursday December 11,
2008
Tags computer, financial, trouble, new computer, executive suite, no visitors, vacant offcies, financial troubles, old computer, vacant office, technology
Transcript
The boss: We need your new computer for the empty office in the executive suite. We don't want any visitors to see vacant offices. They might think we're having financial troubles. Dilbert: Why don't we put my old computer in the vacant office? My boss: That's crazy talk.
Tuesday December 02,
2008
Tags boss, office workers, conference room chairs, cubicles, steal chairs, steal
Transcript
The boss: Carol I want you to take any conference room chairs that re in cubicles and put them back where they belong. Carol: People are going to steal the chairs back as soon as I leave. The boss: Maybe, but do it anyways. Carol: So... we agree that there's no way to tell if I really did it?
Monday November 17,
2008
Tags dress code, office, office workers, company shirts, casual freidays, lower self esteem, stop complaining, industry average, feel overpaid
Transcript
Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?
Sunday November 02,
2008
Tags fish, microwave, stink, offcie, impossible, microwave things that smell bad, job performance, slippery slope, socioathy, liberating feeling, felt bad, extra fish, animals
Transcript
Carol says, "Where are you going with that fish?" Wally says, "I'm going to microwave it." Carol says, "That will stink up the office and make it impossible for anyone else to enjoy life." Carol says, "Isn't there something else you could eat?" Wally says, "I'm not going to eat it. I just like to microwave things that smell bad." Wally says, "After I stopped caring about my job performance, it was a slippery slope to complete sociopathy." Wally says, "It's a liberating feeling. I can't remember the last time I felt bad." Carol says, "Do you have an extra fish?"
Thursday October 30,
2008
Tags being moved, 50 miles each way, hundred
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"
Sunday October 19,
2008
Tags idea squirrel, steals your ideas, treats you like a nut, tackle him, boss office, squirrel, great ideas
Transcript
Asok says, "Anyway, that's what I think should be done." Dilbert says, "IDEA SQUIRREL!" Asok says, "WHAT? WHAT?" Dilbert says, "The idea squirrel steals your ideas and treats you like a nut for saying they were yours!" Asok says, "What do I do now?" Dilbert says, "Your only hope is to tackle him before he gets to our boss's office." Asok says, "GAAA!!!" The Idea Squirrel says, "Grrr..." Someone says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Why is the squirrel that always has great ideas fighting with that nut?"
Sunday August 31,
2008
Tags genius, scheduled, four oclock, judeg, accomplishments, offcie, taught better
Transcript
The Boss says, "Wally, where do you think you're going?" The Boss says, "It's only four o'clock." Wally says, "What a strange thing to say. Did anyone care how many hours a week Beethoven worked?" Wally says, Genius can't be scheduled." Wally says, "Judge my by my accomplishments, not the number of hours I spend at the office." The Boss says, "Okay, fine. What did you accomplish today?" Wally says, "I just taught you how to be a better manager." Wally says, "What? Did you think it was going to happen on its own?"
Sunday August 17,
2008
Tags users want, supply and emnad, idiot, managing, work harder, earn less money, fire me, obvious things
Transcript
The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."


