Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 61
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 601 - 610 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 11,
2002
Tags boost revenues, offshore, subsidary, lie to media, criminal activity, gag a rat, corruption
Transcript
Dilbert, Ratbert, and Bob the Dinosaur are meeting. Dogbert says, "We'll artificially boost revenues by selling to our own offshore subsidiary." Dogbert continues, "Then we'll book our expenses to capital, lie to the media about our prospects, bribe an industry analyst, and cash out!" Ratbert grabs his own throat and gags, "Aak, Aak, Aak." Dogbert says, "I know I'm doing something right when my business practices gag a rat."
Friday December 13,
2002
Tags bankrupt, company, sing along, weasel dance, business
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting on the couch reading a book. Dogbert approaches and says, "I sold my stock and made billions before driving my company into bankruptcy." Dogbert dances and says, "Now I do the Weasel Dance." Hoo-ah! Yee-ha! Woo- woo-woo!" Dogbert stops and asks, "Would it kill you to clap and sing along?"
Friday January 10,
2003
Tags extreme programming, ruin my life, user story, Features
Transcript
Extreme Programming. Dilbert says to a business associate, "I can't give you all of these features in the first version." Dilbert continues, "And each feature needs to have what we call a 'user story.'" The business associate responds, "Okay, here's a story: you give me all of my features or I'll ruin your life.'"
Saturday January 11,
2003
Tags extreme programming., code writing, team, tw programmers, one computer, productive arrangement, whistle both nostrils, saved on harmonicas, business
Transcript
Extreme Programming. Wally and Dilbert are sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "The two of you will be a code-writing team." The Boss continues, "Studies prove that two programmers on one computer is the most productive arrangement." Dilbert types with a furrowed brow. Wally says, "Sometimes I can whistle through both nostrils. I've saved a fortune in harmonicas."
Monday February 03,
2003
Tags bad hand writing, harmful medication, marketing, mild rash, prescription, doctor, exam room, medical, business
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting on the doctor's table. The doctor says, "It's a mild rash. I'll scribble and indecipherable prescription for you." Dilbert looks at the prescription and says, "What if your bad handwriting causes the pharmacy to give me harmful medication?" The doctor replies, "That's a little thing I call marketing."
Tuesday March 11,
2003
Tags meeting, scheduled, secretary, moron, doesn't respect, stuck in traffic, business
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol and asks, "Carol, where's my ten o'clock?" Carol responds, "He said he'd be late because you're a moron and he doesn't respect you." The Boss' appointment comes in and asks Carol, "Did you tell him I was stuck in traffic?" Carol responds, "It's not always about you."
Monday March 17,
2003
Tags brainstorm ideas, employee morale enhancement, pin the tail, boss, employees, hatred, low morale, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Let's brainstorm ideas for 'Employee Morale-Enhancement Day." Alice says, "We could play pin the tail on the pointy-haired weasel whose breath smells like feet." The Boss says to Catbert, "We might need more morale-enhancement days." Catbert replies, "How about this weekend when I'm not here?"
Tuesday March 18,
2003
Tags marketing genius, rebate program, process, impenetrable fortress, unclear instructions, physical impossibilities, hidden 300 digit, serial number
Transcript
Headline: Marketing Genius. A business associate says to The Boss and Wally, "We designed a rebate program that won't cost a penny." The business associate continues, "The rebate process is an impenetrable fortress of unclear instructions and physical impossibilities. An elderly couple sits at a table reviewing bills. The man says, "Next time we have to find the hidden 300-digit serial number and write it in a box that's half an inch long." The woman replies, "Stinkin' weasels."
Thursday March 27,
2003
Tags actively isleads, hypocrite, marketing, table, talk to furniture, tell people, you mislead cutsomers, business
Transcript
Dogbert is standing on a desk, still in his magician's hat. Dilbert says, "You have to stop telling people that you can talk to furniture. It's not right." Dogbert replies, "You work for a company that actively misleads customers. How's that different?" Dilbert says, "We call it marketing, and we don't wear hats." Dogbert responds, "The table says you're a hypocrite."
Tuesday April 15,
2003
Tags unspecified short comings, co worker, accuser, witness protection program, boss, meeting, business
Transcript
Dilbert sits in The Boss' office. The Boss says, "A co-worker who shall remain nameless has accused you of unspecified shortcomings." The Boss continues, "Your accuser has been placed in the witness protection program." Dilbert asks, "You have a program for that?" The Boss replies, "Actually, I just forget who says what."

