Harvard Degree Over Cheeseburger Comic Strips - Page 61
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695 Results for Harvard Degree Over Cheeseburger
View 601 - 610 results for harvard degree over cheeseburger comic strips. Discover the best "Harvard Degree Over Cheeseburger" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 13,
2015
The Illusion Of Leadership
Tags absent mindedness, Advice, forget, forgetfulness, jargon, leadership, managers, managers & supervisors, business
Transcript
Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.
Wednesday February 04,
2015
Free Will Is An Illusion
Tags business ethics, free will, robot, robotics, technology, emotionally manipulate, cloud connected, control humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.
Saturday February 28,
2015
Dogbert The Product Designer
Tags design, evil, frustration, product designer, torture, hate people, styrofoam debris, invisible buttons
Transcript
Dogbert: I decided to become a product designer because I hate people. I will fill every package with styrofoam debris and affix hard-to-remove stickers all over the cases. I'll make the buttons invisible by making them black on a black surface. Ha ha ha! Dilbert: I've always wondered how this stuff happens.
Monday March 16,
2015
Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail
Tags Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring
Transcript
CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?
Tuesday March 24,
2015
Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates
Tags product design, product designer, cruelty, update, computer, reboot, operating system, torture, technology
Transcript
Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?
Friday April 03,
2015
Dick Comments On Alice's Blog
Tags blog, comment, dick, internet, troll, personified, worked up, technology
Transcript
Man: Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Do you have anything for me to mock? Alice: I'm leaving a comment on a blog. Man: Okay, got it. Alice: Can you take it out of context? Man: Shhh! I'm trying to get worked up over nothing.
Sunday June 14,
2015
Tags sales, price, prices, bidding, bid, blackmail, business
Transcript
Dilbert: This is not the deal we agreed on. Man: I forgot a few things on the first estimate, but you need them. Dilbert: I only picked you because you had the lowest price. Man: Yes, but not the vendor selection is done and it would be too much trouble for you to start over. It might even damage your career because you delayed the project. You could go to the second-highest bidder, but those guys would do the same thing to you. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I have no choice! This is blackmail, not commerce! Man: We call it "sales." I'll need all the cash in your wallet, too.
Friday September 04,
2015
Robot Personality Defect
Tags defect, defective, Men, personality, patriarchy, gender, programming, robot, deception, trick, technology, psychology
Transcript
Alice: We need to design a defect into our robots so we can control them if they try to take over. But it has to be the type of defect that they think is an advantage, so they don't know what we're up to. Alice: I gave you the personality of a guy. Robot: Yay for sports! I own this world, bro!
Tuesday September 22,
2015
Alice Should Network With Men
Tags catch-22, sexism, Women, sexist, attraction, success, glass ceiling
Transcript
CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.
Sunday November 01,
2015
Tags temper, anger, calm, email, frustration, internet, communication, reaction, technology
Transcript
Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.