Two Weeks Vaction Comic Strips - Page 61

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

635 Results for Two Weeks Vaction

View 601 - 610 results for two weeks vaction comic strips. Discover the best "Two Weeks Vaction" comics from Dilbert.com.

Device Can Read Minds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Device Can Read Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, device, read, thoughts, turn, computer, commands, theories, engineer, engineering, invention, nothing, broken

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, customer, meeting, engineers, years, disasters, worry, data, centers, blockchain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Complaining Versus Hiding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Complaining Versus Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, complaining, employees, employment, jobs, managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, employees, company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, office workers, punishment, threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, irritation, lunch, office workers, relationships, coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

Helping Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineering, frustration, help, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

Have To Think About It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Have To Think About It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, idea, managers & supervisors, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you like my idea? Boss: I need to think about it. Dilbert: You mean you plan to wait a few weeks and then act as if it was your idea? Boss: Now that idea I like right away.

Complaints About Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Complaints About Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaint, office, office workers, productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bugs, business, fire, office, office workers, quit, system

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.