New Product Comic Strips - Page 62
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1000 Results for New Product
View 611 - 620 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 06,
2021
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic
Tags health & safety, pandemic, end, meet, new, people, focus, friends, prefer
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.
Saturday May 01,
2021
Must Register To Date
Tags business, love & dating, managers & supervisors, company policy, human resources, new, dating, register, link, details, laptop
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.
Saturday June 19,
2021
Potted Plant
Tags business, communication, job, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, employees, feelings, potted plant, new, boss
Transcript
ceo: the only reason you have a job is so i don't have to talk to employees. but i still talk to you every day, so i hired a potted plant to be your new boss. boss: i feel deeply insulted. ceo: see? a plant would never feel that way.
Saturday June 26,
2021
Too Busy To Train
Tags business, jobs, managers & supervisors, two, replacement, quit, death, stare, new, person, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.
Thursday March 24,
2011
Tags competition (psychology), meetings, test script, prodcut
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."
Monday April 11,
2011
Tags fraternization, internet & world wide web, friends with ghoats, real freinds, imaginary ones, idea is ridiculous, ridiculous idea, facebook freinds
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?
Thursday January 13,
2011
Tags anger, engineers, lust, pon farr cycle, irreversible urge, mating season, engineer mating season, spawn, prodcut, unnecessary steps, rarely happens, specifications, vague
Transcript
Tina says, "Did you hear that Dilbert and Alice are on the same Pon Farr cycle?" Carol says, "What?" Tina says, "Every seven years, engineers have an irresistible urge to mate. Their spawn would be the product of two engineers." There's a reason it rarely happens Dilbert says, "Your plan has unnecessary steps!" Alice says, "Your specifications are vague!"
Friday January 21,
2011
Tags prosperity, competition (psychology)
Transcript
The Boss says, "We're not creative enough to create whole new markets, the way apple does." The Boss says, "And we're not powerful enough for a fast follower strategy." The Boss says, "What we need is a sexy, strategic-sounding name for crumb-snatching." Dilbert says, "Niche player?"
Tuesday January 25,
2011
Tags tax incentives, capital investments, pursue opportunities, over burdened staff, divert resocurces, top priorities
Transcript
Demon says, "The government announced tax incentives for new capital investments." Dilbert says, "That's great. Now we can pursue marginally attractive opportunities with our overburdened staff." Demon says, "Is he always like this?" The Boss says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "I'll just divert resources from our top priorities."
Wednesday January 26,
2011
Tags commerce, economic policy, utax incentives, projects, tax savings, executive bonuses, stimulate economy, trickle on your heads, trickle down theory, poker night
Transcript
The Boss says, "We've decided to use the new tax incentives on the projects we were going to do anyway." The Boss says, "The tax savings will go toward executive bonuses, which stimulate the economy via the 'trickle on your heads' theory." Alice says, "It's called the 'trickle down' theory." The Boss says, "Not on poker night."


