Something Perfect Comic Strips - Page 62

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664 Results for Something Perfect

View 611 - 620 results for something perfect comic strips. Discover the best "Something Perfect" comics from Dilbert.com.

Looks Good But Won't Work

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Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat

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Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Wally Is Born For The Job

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Wally Is Born For The Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #system, #laziness, #perfect job, #goals, #ambition

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Boss: I need to set some goals for you. Wally: My job is to maintain the legacy system. My only goal is to avoid accidentally upgrading it. Boss: And how's that going? Wally: I don't like to brag, but I was born for this job.

No Walking Away

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No Walking Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #policy, #conversation, #ideas, #management, #strategy, #politeness, #etiquette, #business

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Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #delay, #frustration, #interpersonal communication

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Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!

Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic

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Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #work, #workload, #work ethic

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Wally: How was your vacation? Dilbert: Tragic. All I did was stay home and watch my personal hygiene decline while my workload here piled up. Wally: You just described my perfect day.

Tina Has Phone Anxiety

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Tina Has Phone Anxiety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #boredom, #time, #killing time, #anxiety, #addiction, #distraction, #technology

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Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #analogy, #hyperbole, #exaggeration

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Dilbert: Once we have all of the vendors' bids, we will pick the best one. Man: Oh, great, so you're saying we should be exactly like serial killers? Dilbert: Uh... what? Man: Serial killers also choose their victims. Can't you see the warning flags here? You're basically promoting murder. Dilbert: That is literally the most ridiculous and unhelpful analogy of all time. I doubt you could come up with a worse analogy, no matter how hard you tried. Man: Hitler said something like that before invading Poland. Boss: Good point.

Imagine He Is Naked

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Imagine He Is Naked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #Advice, #nervous, #naked, #fear

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Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.

Attending A Meeting For Kevin

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Attending A Meeting For Kevin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #sexual harrassment, #real, #fantasy, #imagination

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Boss: Can you attend a meeting for Kevin, our new immersive VR employee? Dilbert: Why can't Kevin do it? Boss: Alice needed him for something. Alice: Good. Now do it again, but without your shirt. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with this.

The Cia Is Listening

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The Cia Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #amazon, #spying, #surveillace, #paranoid, #privacy

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Robot: Hello. I am a bluetooth speaker and your digital assistant. How may I help you? Man: Just shut up and sit there until I need something. Robot: Did you say" Give the CIA access to your microphone?" Man: Please, no. I'll do anything you want.