Asok Comic Strips - Page 62
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Character
964 Results for Asok
View 611 - 620 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 29,
2009
Tags presentation, plan, lying, marketing, screaming, guilt, business
Transcript
The boss says, "In phase one, we'll tell our customer that the system failure won't happen again." Not us! The boss says, "In phase two, when it happens again, we'll act surprised." The boss says, "Then we'll say a software patch is being installed." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! We're bad people!"
Saturday May 30,
2009
Tags assignment, realization, angry, useless, meaningless, breakdown, screaming, yelling, ignoring
Transcript
The boss says, "Asok, I want to scrub the CPS database." Asok says, "No one uses that data." Asok the intern says, "But you are incapable of admitting error. So now I must dedicate my time to a thoroughly useless task." The boss thinks, "This job got easier when I stopped listening." Asok says, "It's like death, but without the glamour!"
Tuesday June 09,
2009
Tags meeting, explaining, angry, confronting, annoyed, business
Transcript
The boss says, "Last week I attended the circle of excellence conference for managers." Alice says, "So, while we were doing actual work, you sat in a circle with a bunch of managers?" The boss says, "It wasn't like that." Alice says, "Oh, I think it was."
Sunday June 21,
2009
Tags vacation, delegating, excuses, volunteering, cruel, mean
Transcript
The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."
Friday June 26,
2009
Tags worried, bragging, money, foreclosure, angry, insensitive
Transcript
Ted says, "I can?t afford my mortgage because of my pay cut. The bank will take the house." Asok says, "I saved a bundle by being a renter. I should buy your house for next to nothing." Asok says, "Too soon?"
Saturday June 27,
2009
Tags evil, mean, cruel, meeting, money, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "You shouldn't come to work just for money." Catbert says, "You should come to work to avoid not having any money." Wally says, "I'm only in it for these meetings." Catbert says, "Settle down, baldy."
Tuesday July 07,
2009
Tags meeting, rules, ridiculous, nervous, shaking, worried, stupidity, business
Transcript
The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"
Friday July 10,
2009
Tags meeting, economy, job, screaming, health, Promotion, rejection, denial, business
Transcript
The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"
Saturday July 11,
2009
Friday July 17,
2009
Tags asking, laptop, equipment, refusal, ridicule, evil, cruel
Transcript
Mordac, the preventer of information services. Asok says, "May I use this laptop that no one else is using?" Mordac says, "No, but you can have my old pizza box while you waterboard yourself in your own tears." Asok says, "I guess that's better than nothing." Mordac says, "Really? In that case you can't have it."

