Birds Off Building Comic Strips - Page 62

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

699 Results for Birds Off Building

View 611 - 620 results for birds off building comic strips. Discover the best "Birds Off Building" comics from Dilbert.com.

Rather Eat Garbage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rather Eat Garbage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #choices, #boredom, #listening, #trash, #garbage, #suffering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?

Elbonians Jumping Off Roof

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonians Jumping Off Roof - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jump, #height, #suicide, #struggle, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We have a problem at our Elbonian manufacturing plant. Employees are leaping from the roof to end their lives. Boss: It's only two stories high. Dilbert: That's the problem. It takes three jumps to do it right.

Days Off Versus More Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Days Off Versus More Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch-22, #wages, #trick question, #vacation, #compensation, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.

Robot Attacks Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Attacks Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #machines, #computers, #fighting, #violence, #programming, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our robot viciously attacked me. I was barely able to fight him off. You know what you need to do. Dilbert: I'm programming you to fight better. Robot: Thanks. I'm not a good finisher.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #loyalty program, #survey, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.

App For Jumping Off The Roof

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
App For Jumping Off The Roof  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #suicide, #murder, #legal issues, #reasonable doubt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe we should remove the neural interface so his natural brain works again. Alice: Or... and this is just a thought-- we could create an app that makes him jump off the roof. Dilbert: Would that be murder or suicide? Alice: All we need is reasonable doubt.

Suboptimal Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Suboptimal Barry Dingle  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #open-door policy, #corporate culture, #pest

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.

Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questioning, #time, #quick question

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: I see you're off your phone. Can I pop in and ask a quick question? Boss: Yes, but only if it is quick. Barry: Oh, it will be. Boss: Okay, make it quick. Barry: What is blockchain and how will it influence our strategy across all product lines?

If We Are Off By One Percent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If We Are Off By One Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projection, #prediction, #finances, #big business, #guess, #estimate, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my highly unreliable forecast, we're on the right track. But if even one of my seventeen assumptions is off by one percent, we are doomed. The obvious conclusion is that... Board: We're nailing it!